Open letter to Monsanto

Monsanto Corp.
800 N. Lindbergh Blvd.
St. Louis, MO 63167

22 February 2005

Dear Monsanto:

On 20 December 2004, I was involved in a three-car accident in Memphis, Tenn. A GMC pickup hit a Ford Taurus, pushing the Taurus into me as I sat at a complete stop.

So why am I writing you? Well, the pickup was being driven by one William Trantham. He owes you $592,677.89 for patent infringement. See, you and I have something in common. Mr. Trantham lied to you when he bought Roundup Ready seeds using a false name. And he lied to me when he told me he had insurance.

Now, I don't know when you're going to get your money -- if you get it at all. But if you do, could you please give me $300 for a new bumper cover? I'd only had my car for four days, and it's just not fair.

Sincerely,
Kate

P.S. In your free time, do you think you could clean up the environment a bit? kthxbai.