"Maybe she's just pieces of me you've never seen"

My head is all over the place today. Little pieces of me here and there. So I figured I'd just pick up the pieces one by one and share. And you get to come along for the ride.

Numero Uno: What's on my piano stand

• Lyrics for "Adia" (Sarah McLachlan) and "Still Fighting It" (Ben Folds)
• Selections from Cats (I actually sat down at 7 a.m. to play "Skimbleshanks" -- my hands were too trembly to get ready for work, so I played until I felt better
• 19 Chopin pieces (played "Prelude in E minor" when I came home from work, even before I changed clothes. It was that kind of day.)
• Bach's Two- and Three-part Inventions
• "Walking in Memphis"
• And three books I'm ignoring: Czerny's Art of Finger Dexterity, School of Velocity, and 160 Eight-Measure Exercises. I really need these books, and I hate Czerny. Blech. Somebody force me to play these. Please.

Numero Dos: Kate Makes a Friend

Such a strange thing, that. You know, I'm almost afraid to really make friends anymore, I mean to open up to someone on a one-by-one basis. That happened during The Summer From Hell. I talked, and I listened. I listened, and I talked. I trusted too much. I peeled away layer after layer thinking that somewhere under there I'd gain understanding, and instead I hit a nerve. It hurt me very badly, losing that friend.

That year, that summer, we each had our own lives to live and our own problems. And we came together and shared and learned -- maybe we learned all we could from each other -- and then the world started spinning out of control, and we went back to our own lives and our own problems.

So what does this have to do with today? I don't know. I guess when somebody reads all this and knows I have issues and still sticks around when the chips fall, well, that impresses me. But every time I open my mouth, a part of me thinks I'm better shutting down, putting up the fence, pretending like I'm invincible so that I never get hurt.

I guess I never learn from my mistakes. But in this case, I don't think I want to. When you take a leap, you fall. But you sure get a beautiful view on the way down.

Numero Tres: In the Spirit of Cringe

Remember that I live in my childhood home. Any time I want to, you know, relive my childhood, I just have to go into my bedroom. :-P So I found a couple of hand-written folded-up notes from high school. You know the ones you pass across a room and hope the teacher doesn't see. These are circa 1995.

• Hey Kate! Have you even begun to pack? I am yet to even start. I am busy to(sic), trust me. I have to call my mom after school, because I didn't catch her before band. She went to court. I will find something to do. I only have over 1 dollar so I need to find my mom somehow. I am looking forward to Canada too! 2 more days! We are going to have so much fun in our room! Have you done your letters yet? Well, I'll see ya later. Love ya, Bets. P.S.- I like the end of your note, Thanks, that made my whole day (yeah right)
• Dear Kate; Hey, what's ^. I have you note but you'll have to wait till after school to hear it. I hope you have a good day because this is a good note and definitly(sic) something to look forward to. I think Angie and I are getting on better terms (friends) again. I wish you and I had more classes together. I drove the Jimmy today so I dont have to mess w/the truck. I guess I'll talk to you later. Sorry So Short! but the other note will be well worth the wait. WMB

Well, there you have it. Three things to ponder. Four, if you count the two notes separately. I bet nobody else can dig up notes from their freshman and sophomore years of high school, because most mothers aren't packrats who save every piece of paper that passed through their daughter's hands! :)

Love, hugs, fluffy bears. -k-