Why bookstores stock books nobody reads

Once upon a time (a little over two years ago), I worked in a bookstore. I was the lead bookseller for a (huge) section of the store that included teen fiction and non-fiction, sports, science/technology, audio books, pets, automotive, self-help, cookbooks, diet, fitness, yoga/pilates, wine, study guides, foreign languages, large print ... and psychology.

Now, I'm going to assume most of you approach a bookstore the same way I do: Enter store. Browse around. Choose book. Buy book. Exit store. But, no no, that's not the way things are done at the megachains. Basically, about 10 percent of customers treat the bookstore as an extension of the library: Enter store. Find table. Plop down bookbag. Find 10 or 12 reference books. Do homework. Buy soda. Spill soda. Leave books and spilled soda on table. Exit store. The bookstores have enough cash flow to put up with customers like these in the name of "courtesy."

But because of this, a number of textbooks end up floating around the store with no potential buyer. John Doe will come in and order The Complete History of Chartreuse-Colored Major Household Appliances. The book arrives and he looks through it to "make sure it's what he wants." (Funny how the act of looking through the book appears quite similar to "studying for his midterm exam.") Then, having decided he doesn't really need the book after all, he leaves it in the store, and the bookstore is stuck with it. Sometimes they can send it back to the manufacturer, but not if it's been taken out of its cellophane wrapper or it's been damaged in some way (the spine's been broken, etc.)

The net effect is that the books that people want to read are shelved among books that stagnate for years. One book that perpetually migrated from my section to The Table Where Suzie Does Her Homework was the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders IV. It's a book that didn't have a lot of buyers ... but it certainly had a lot of readers.

Last night, I finally saw the inside of a DSM-IV. I didn't tell Miriam that I knew what it was, because extraneous details take up time, and I'm on a one-hour schedule. But I was given a diagnosis test made up of mostly yes-no questions, such as, "Have you ever had a panic attack?" and "Do you fear that you're going to die?" and "Would you ever let a monster bite, eat or kiss your fingers?" So she starts into these questions, and I notice right away that she's flipping back and forth between several dozen pages.

"This is like one of those books where you choose what happens next," she tells me. "Ah," I reply, "like the Choose Your Own Adventure series, huh?"

Totally like Choose Your Own Adventure. Except this is Choose Your Own Disorder. The possibilities are endless!

I briefly thought about trucking over to the bookstore today and actually flipping through the DSM. But I'm restraining myself for two reasons: (1.) I'm paying for somebody to do the diagnoses for me, and (2.) I'd hate to piss off some current bookstore employee who will one day keep a blog complaining about her former customers. ;-)

Today, I head to the shrink for a med check. So many appointments, I think my head (and my pocketbook) may explode! I think everything's good with my meds, but I'll report back with the final verdict from Dr. Boyd.

Hugs, kisses and choco-chip cookies for everyone. XOXOXO