Kate's case of the blues
Paul's working his butt off. Matt's stuck where he is. Carrie's too far away to drive and visit. Jeremy's AWOL. ... And the list goes on and on. It makes for a very empty, lonely house.
I shouldn't have planned to go to the concerts. I shouldn't have called Matt to meet me there. I shouldn't have taken the day off from work (although it wasn't a total loss because I had lunch with some family members and went to a movie with Mom). But most of all, I shouldn't have started believing that things were looking up, that time was lengthening, distance was shortening and I was back in the game.
What do I want? If I knew that, I'd be happy, right? Maybe, instead of wrapping my wings around everyone else, doing my best to keep them safe and warm and happy, I wish somebody would wrap me up so I could rest. Really rest. And be safe and cry and get out all those deep-down insecurities that I know are there but I can't shake.
I want time to shift and memories to not just be memories anymore. I want to relive things that I know I can never relive. Time sucks like that.
Sorry for such a downer. I try to keep most of it out of the blog, but sometimes it's overpowering. Peace and love ... lots of love ...
posted by Kate at 5:35 PM
Copyright 2001-2009, L.K.C.S. It's MINE, all MINE. If you wanna use it, gimme credit and a link, okies? And don't run with scissors, because you're just going to poke somebody's eye out with that thing. No, really. 
8 Comments:
::hugs:: I hate the distance too. Just know that if you ever need to, I'm a phone call away. And when I make my first million, I'm getting that private jet plane we discussed...
As for being down, heck, it's your place to vent girl. And don't do the "I shouldn't haves." It is not YOUR fault he chose to back out.
i dont think it was a backing out, more of like, crap, cant get down there. There is a difference.
I hear you on the reliving the past thing. It sucks, huh? I really miss the times when life felt simple and when everything seemed more new and fresh and fun.
yeah, me too, i sorta miss my undergrad days. like, the whole free time thing. but then, i think, i was a total slacker, not so good.
Hey everybody! It's bestselling author Johanna Edwards, making an appearance at my humble blog! (insert golf clap here)
Seriously, buy her book if you haven't. It roxors my boxers. Perhaps tomorrow I'll dredge up college memories (and pictures) that'll make her cringe. :-)
Hey, you've done it to the rest of us. You might as well embarass her. The rest of us stuck around after the harassment. :)
Uh-oh...no pictures!!! I'll personally hunt you down if you do that.
I miss you, Kate. Let's do dinner or lunch soon, okay? Do you have my number?
Kate particularly likes pics of people with their hair sticking up...
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