Mom always said don't talk to strangers

Despite the fact it's Friday, I took my own sweet time leaving the office this afternoon. I hate rush hour traffic, so it's not unusual for me to goof off for half an hour before braving the expressway -- and today was no different. So before I left, I logged onto AIM to let Paul know I was going home.

I was in the process of typing "Hi honey!" when an IM popped onto my screen ... an IM from a stranger. Now, for those of you who don't use AIM, let me explain how this works: When you're talking to one person via IM and somebody else messages you, your cursor automatically goes over to the new IM, which can be a bad thing if you're not paying attention. For example, if you're talking dirty to your girlfriend and your grandma IMs, much hilarity ensues. (Well, maybe not right then, but you'll probably laugh about it later when grandma's dead: "Hey, remember that time when you told Granny you couldn't wait to get her pants off?")

Anyway, in the course of IMing Paul, I accidentally accepted this stranger's IM, which is a huge Kate no-no (after all, that's how I met my husband ::grins::). And right away, this dude is telling me all this random stuff ... like who he is and what he does. Then he tells me he found my blog by Googling my boss' name. Say what?!

Let me tell you, I've never been pushed into an anxiety attack quite so quickly. And I'm talking serious here. I dumped my purse out, located my inhaler, took two puffs ... and managed to type out a small message to the effect of "You're scaring the piss outta me!" (Except I was nicer than that.)

While I was waiting for him to reply, I rummaged around the contents of my purse -- now strewn over my desk -- located the bottle of Klonopin, and swallowed one down with the cold remnants of my morning coffee. Then, totally freaked out, I Googled my boss' name. I make a point of rarely mentioning my coworkers (and never by name), so I was rather relieved when I realized this dude found my boss through an innocuous interview I did for our intern's journalism class.

Well, it turns out homedude was looking for a job, saw an online advertisement, and thought I'd have the inside scoop. Unfortunately, I didn't know we were running an ad online. Hell, I didn't even know we were hiring! As usual, I have my eye on the minutiae (editing, blogging, living my life) and the really big picture (business deals, world events, Godzilla), but all that middle stuff between the minutiae and the really big picture are lost on me.

I assume Mr. Job Seeker Man reads this blog periodically ... so, umm, sorry that I couldn't be of more help, dude. Good luck getting hired.

And to anyone else who may stumble upon Kate's Ink looking for a job: Keep surfing. Don't pass go. Don't collect $200. And for all that is good and holy in the world, don't IM me, kthx.