Somebody buy me this ... now

Six Reasons Why You Should Buy Me
This Grand Piano ... Now
By: Kate Simone

(1.) It's on eBay for $600. That's six-fricking-hundred bucks.
(2.) The auction is over in 20 hours.
(3.) It's in Nashville ... so we can avoid cross-country shipping.
(4.) It needs tuning, but is in otherwise good shape.
(5.) I haven't practiced on a grand since college.

And, finally...
(6.) I want it.

Please, please, please? Once again, it's THIS grand piano.

P.S. Dear Paul, You're not allowed to buy it, because that money is on reserve for our vacation. Kthx.