Wednesday, October 26, 2005

She just wanted to make sure he stayed regular...

SASM is now available through Amazon and BN. Yay! Still no pictures, though. Boo hiss!

Things went well yesterday at the doctor's office. He put me at ease right away, so I was able to tell him everything that was going on. We discussed adding another drug to the mix, and I was opposed. So I'm going up slightly on the Lamictal and taking more Klonopin until the whole book/hand stuff subsides. Then I can start trying to work myself back off the Klons. They're a "quick fix" drug, and I'm not in this for a quick fix.

I always get a trip out of sitting in the waiting room. It's an understatment to say there are some interesting people waiting to see the psychiatrist. Most people are okay — just sitting there reading a magazine or balancing their checkbook or whatever it is people do in a waiting room. But there are always some people who are talking loudly to each other (or, in this case, loudly to themselves).

Yesterday, I was perched on a fairly uncomfortable chair waiting to relinquish half my paycheck in copay fees when this middle-aged very sane-looking woman walks up to the nurses' window and asks to borrow the phone.

I figured it was one of the typical doc office calls: "Mom's running late. Stick the spaghetti on the stove."

But, as this wasn't a typical doc office, I should've known better. ::grins::

Now, I only heard half the conversation here, but it went something like this:
"Hey there! I was just calling to check on you and the baby. How's the baby? Oh good. What do you mean who is this? It's your honeydear. Mmhmm. Are you sitting in your chair? You're not? Why not? Well, you need to go sit in your chair! Because I said so! No, I'm going to be a little late because I have to go by and get my prescriptions. Are you sitting in your chair now? It sounds like you're sitting in your chair. Good. Do you still need me to pick up your prune juice on the way home? No, you need prune juice. Really."
She's been talking really loudly, and it's a fairly small office. And I swear to you, every person in the waiting room snickered when she asked about the prune juice. I think it was one of those TMI moments, picturing this woman racing home to make sure her honeydear is sitting in his chair drinking his prune juice.

4 Comments:

Blogger De said...

It is a warrior's drink!

7:18 PM  
Blogger angrygrrface said...

Hey, she was calling ME!

10:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That is so wild! I was hanging out at a friends cave that other day and he got the strangest call... he put it on speakerphone and I swear it went something like this!

Her: Hey there!
Friend: Hey! What you want?
Her: I was just calling to check on you and the baby.
Friend: Baby? Oh, you mean (my name here)? Me going to tell him you call him baby.
Her: How's the baby?
Me: (yelling in background)Screw you bitch!
Friend: Me no think he like that too much.
Her: Oh good.
Friend: Who am this anyway?
Her: What do you mean who is this? It's your honeydear.
Friend: Honeydear? mmmMMMmmmmhoneydear....
Her: Mmhmm. Are you sitting in your chair?
Friend: NO! You no distract me with talk of sweetie gamey meaty treats! Me know who you am! You am that stalker lady who keep hanging outside cave with binoculars and video camera! Me not going to stand for that much longer!
Her: You're not? Why not?
Friend: Because you no give me percent of profit! Me want me share! Me am star, me should get me just rewards!
Her: Well, you need to go sit in your chair!
Friend: NO! What? What chair? You mean big ball of human hair that me get in mail? Am that supposed to be chair? It four foot ball of human hair shaped like teardrop and have bullseye taped to it with 'Butt Here' written on that! Why you think me ever going sit on THAT?
Her: Because I said so!
Friend: That not good enough! Me bet if me sit on big hairball you just come around usual time and start taking funny pictures me sitting on big hairball!
Her: No, I'm going to be a little late because I have to go by and get my prescriptions. Are you sitting in your chair now?
Friend: NO! Do it sound like me sitting in chair?
(at this point my friend started rubbing the phone against his butt)
Her: It sounds like you're sitting in your chair. Good.
Friend: NOOOOooo!!! That am me hair, not you hair!!! Me not even have you stupid chair no more!! Me eat it yesterday!
Her: Do you still need me to pick up your prune juice on the way home?
Friend: AHHGH!! This am not you home! This am me home! Me no want you prune juice! Me eat roadkill!! ROADKILL!!!
Her: No, you need prune juice.
Friend: ME ONLY NEED PRUNE JUICE BECAUSE ME JUST EAT FOUR FOOT BALL OF HAIR!!!!
Her: Really.
Friend: YOU STOP CALLING HERE!!!

4:10 AM  
Blogger smacky said...

[looking at can]: Not from concentrate? Do they make concentrated prune juice? If so, imagine what it must be like before they add water to it. Thicker than oil mixed with blood, and a single sip will cause instant window rattling bowel thunder.

[so cold... so very cold...]

7:41 AM  

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