To my dearest hubby ...

Dear Paul,

I'm sorry I blamed you this morning for leaving the upstairs toilet running.

In my defense, how was I supposed to know that one of our friends — desperately in need of a place to stay since his wife kicked him out for good on his birthday — had snuck into the house at 3:30 a.m. and was asleep upstairs?

I suppose I would've figured it out for myself had I not stepped over his note scrawled on a paper towel, laying on the floor outside our bedroom door.

You know how much I like routine, how much safer I feel when I'm in control of the situation. And I think the universe tosses curveballs my way once in a while as a big ten-four that I can't be such an uptight, anal-retentive, Type A chick all the time.

Also, I think the universe is sending you a message that it's time to get the damn toilet fixed. But that's just my take on things.

With all my love,
Your dear wifey

P.S. What's with the pic? Can't you tell that it's Peep Paul being annoyed by back-seat driver Peep Kate because she doesn't recognize his obvious need for Peep speed?

You can never have too many extra mobos...

Yesterday, I got a call from TigerDirect, asking if I'd like to open a corporate account so I could save on future purchases and get free shipping. What a deal! I'm thinking they must be desperate for business, considering the only thing I've ever bought from TD was a Toshiba 20G 1.8" HDD.

That's it. One hard drive. And it qualifies me for a corporate account!

Anyway, I'm not a huge fan of TigerDirect, especially after the LaCie debacle in July. My own dear hubby, in the most misguided metaphor ever, said, "... It's Tiger. It's like taking a shotgun, pointing it at your house, and pulling the trigger. Sometimes it hits, sometimes it doesn't." ResellerRatings backs me up on this one.

Completely changing subjects... In my pre-doctor panic yesterday, I forgot to log out of my work computer and missed an IM from Carrie. That's what I get for being irresponsible.

I guess it worked out okay though, because I also had an IM from Matt. He's fine, he's home, he's settling down (that elicited a raised eyebrow from me). He said Thanksgiving was good and the Michigan weather is crappy. He has a stable Internet connection, but no phone. So there you go ... a Matt update. ::grins::

Hope everyone is having decent weather. It's finally pretty cold here (yay!), which means I'm going to go outside and play instead of sitting at my desk fielding messages from TigerDirect and/or old friends.

I will, however, take comments from you guys, since that's what makes me smile first thing in the morning. :)

MY WRIST IS FINE! (and other random crap)

MY HAND ISN'T GOING TO FALL OFF!

The MRI showed nothing except for a short ulna (duh). My orthopedist poked around on the joint a bit ("Why do you do that?! It HURTS!"), then said he couldn't find any reason why I was having problems. Bummer. Back to square one, I guess.

He said to approach it with a "wait and see" attitude ... then he gave me a cortisone shot. Apparently, this is his favorite form of treatment, as the woman next door to me also was receiving a cortisone shot. And he pumped Paul full of cortisone upon the occasion of Paul's first ganglion, but not the one Paul chewed off his hand.

Perhaps that is a story for another time, as it might take me a while to explain why Paul was bursting a cyst by gnawing on his hand, and I do have other things to talk about.

Want to wish a happy 25th birthday Tuesday to Jeremy, who is very good at keeping me grounded when I'm not busy worrying about him. The picture is of Jeremy and Len during a crazier time in our lives. ("High times, hard times / Sometimes the living is sweet ...")

Urgh. I think I'm a little off tonight, partly because I'm so relieved that things are okay, and partly because my wrist hurts really bad from all the extra poking around followed by a ginormous shot right into the joint.

It doesn't help that I didn't sleep well last night. We took Jeremy out and stayed at an all-night diner until way past my bedtime. After I finally drove home and fell asleep (with the help of some nice tranquilizers), I had a bunch of crazy dreams.

In one, a former reporter came back to the paper and begged me to stay at work until 3 a.m. so that I could secretly tape a phone conversation he was having with civil rights leader Benjamin Hooks. In another, Jeremy's wife was loudly banging Eddie (whom I've never mentioned by name in this blog, and don't particularly want to introduce now) on a pink mattress in my hallway, while four or five other people in the house tried to figure out a way to step over the mattress without disturbing them.

Also, I woke up to Paul yelling in his sleep. Long night. ::grins::

Oh, one more thing regarding yesterday's (rather violent) game ...

To half-answer De's question ("Can the boy not fight back or is this just a case of naked cruelty?"), I found out the game is based on the hentai Japanese PS2 game Cross Channel by Flying Shine. You can read the full storyline here. From what I gather, there's this boy stuck in summer school who starts flirting with this chick. Then he tries to rip off her bikini bottom (??), which might explain why she beats him senseless in the flash game. Does that clear anything up? I didn't think so.

Anger abatement, ahoy!

Cute anime girls get down and dirty in Nanaca Cross, otherwise known as "The Game in Which Cute Anime Girls Beat the Living Crap Out of Some Poor Boy For a Reason We'll Never Understand Because the Text is Not Written in English."

It's fun, it's addictive, and I pummeled the guy for 1,358.53m without breaking a sweat. Bet ya can't beat that, Girly Man.

Boo!

Want one really good reason why I've been AWOL all weekend? It's because of Boo, the little ghostie from the Mario universe. He's a little on the idiotic side, but he's effing adorable. Guess I like him for all the wrong reasons, eh?

Come on ... how can you not dig a face that says, "I'm evil, but I wanna party down with my bad self!"

Bonus points because he's not stuck-up like Peach, annoying like Toadette, or scary like Waluigi. And double bonus points because his head doesn't detach from his body like Dry Bones. (Actually, since Boo is rather blobbish, I'd be interested to see the effects of trying to detach his head from his body.)

Also, I find great amusement in watching him steal apples from monkeys and then try to escape their poo-flinging ghostie-chasing madness.

Thumbs up to the Mario Party franchise. True, it's retooled and repackaged more often that Madden's NFL ... but, then again, EA's selling itself short by not making Boo an unlockable character.

R.I.P. Pat Morita

According to Celebrity Death Beeper, Pat Morita died on Thanksgiving.

Most people probably only knew him as Karate Kid's Mr. Miyagi, but he also had roles in Happy Days, The Odd Couple, and Green Acres. More recently, he did work in Spy Hard, Honeymoon in Vegas, and Mulan.

According to the Associated Press, he overcame spinal tuberculosis, life in a Japanese-American internment camp during World War II, an attempt at standup comedy (then quitting because "prospects for a Japanese-American standup comic seemed poor"), and a full-time job in computers ... before deciding to follow his dream and go into show business full time.

Now that's staring down defeat. For you guys who talked me through "It's not as bad as cancer," I think I'm starting to get the idea. I have great respect for a man who overcame some pretty rough stuff thrown at him early in life.

He could've chosen the safe route after the war, fixing computers or working in his parents' restaurant. But the safe route wouldn't have made him one of the most recognized characters in Hollywood and wouldn't have earned him an Academy Award nomination.

Also, it wouldn't have inspired millions of people to try to catch flies with a pair of chopsticks. Go on and admit it. I know you've done it.

MRI scans — What do you think?

I'm not sure that I'm supposed to be scanning these, but I paid $398 to spend an hour and a half in an MRI tube while 150 pictures of my hand were taken. I think that gives me the right to do whatever I darn well please with the film.

I wanted to point out the important stuff, but I also wanted to show you the original scan, because you can see things better on that one. The red box is my ulna. See how much shorter it is than my radius (the bigger bone)? And the green box is my lunate, the bone in question. [Edit: CLICK HERE to see what the radius/ulna should look like.]

I won't get the official results from my orthopedist until Monday afternoon, but I'd be happy to entertain your opinions until then. ;-)

And if I don't get around to saying it tomorrow, I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving. Don't forget the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade starts at 9 a.m. EST. (The Macy's Parade is second only to the Tournament of Roses Parade, but that's not for another month!)

Horoscope Thanksgiving Side Dishes

This site proclaims to know which side dishes you should bring to a Thanksgiving dinner, based on your astrological sign. I get candied yams and cranberry fruit salad. Paul gets wild rice with cranberries and pecans and orange-pomegranate relish.

He said his sounded pretty awful. What are your side dishes, and do you agree?

MRIs and "The One"

Yesterday, I called the orthopedist on a hunch. I was fairly certain he wanted an MRI before I came in for my Monday appointment. I was right. And so — through a whirlwind of phone calls and schedule shifting — I now am penciled in for an MRI at Diagnostic Imaging tomorrow.

I spent the morning in a near-panic. Then I attempted 10 minutes of progressive relaxation at my desk. The phone rang twice; I let it slide off me. Then, the incredibly noisy Keepers of the Coke Machine came in to refill the stock ... and I gave up. Six minutes, and there was no way I could relax. I took a Klonopin, and as always, things started moving in slow-motion. At least I could breathe again.

Then I engaged in my other form of therapy: buying lipstick. I had to go to the pharmacy anyway, so while I was there, I browsed the aisles looking for The One.

For you men, let me explain the concept of The One. See, all women know the perfect lipstick is out there. The one that highlights their face and draws attention to their lips. The one that is the perfect color (YLBB) and creates a slight pout without looking cartoonish. It must last all day, but without being too dry or too sticky. You get bonus points if it's affordable.

This is the Holy Grail of lipsticks — always just out of reach. And, if perchance you do find such a lipstick, it will be discontinued next week and replaced with a cheap knock-off. Then it's back to square one.

I happened to come across a $6 tube of Rimmel Volume Boost in Plump. Then I came back to the office and experimented with it ... and I got an unsolicited lipstick compliment! That made me feel tons better.

At least I am secure in the fact that my lips will be kissably gorgeous as they contort into a silent scream in fear that my hand is going to fall off.

When danger's near, exploit their fear

Some of you might think that — being the GeekGrrl I am — I am sitting in line waiting for an Xbox 360 right now.

Well, you're wrong.

I stayed at work until 7 p.m., trying to get a jump on the rest of the short week. (Funny how there seems to be more work during short weeks...) Then I met up with Jeremy, who just bought a new car so he wouldn't lose his job or something. Didn't really press him on that issue.

We hit up Blockbuster and rented H2G2 and Reefer Madness. I'm a big Doug Adams fan, but H2G2 came out while Matt was in town, so I never made it over to the theaters to see it. We rented Reefer Madness on a whim ... and it's really funny.

Alan Cumming does a great job. Also look for appearances by Christian Campbell (a.k.a. Max Steel) and his sister, Neve Campbell; Kristin Bell (a.k.a. Veronica Mars); and comedienne Ana Gasteyer.

And you geek kids out there, keep an eye out for Ralph (John Kassir). He's the voice of ... everything. He was the Cryptkeeper in Tales of the Cryptkeeper. He was Buster Bunny in Tiny Toons. Meeko in Pocahontas. Mervis and Dunglap in CatDog. And he's also done work in EverQuest II, The Punisher video game, Tak and Halo II. And in this movie, he's a complete idiot. An idiot because of the evil weed.

Anyway, if you can find a copy, check it out. Not one to share with the kids, for sure, but adults will get a kick out of the campy over-the-top musical numbers. Especially the catchy title song, which I'm going to have stuck in my head all day.

Peek-a-Boo!

Paul says hi.
--katesink

You turned the tap dance into your crusade...

Movin' Out was fantastic. I just can't offer enough thanks to FF for giving us the tickets. It was unusual for me to see a show where I'm not already familiar with the storyline. Cats, Rent, The Lion King, PotO (I fell asleep during that) ... I knew all about them before I went.

With Movin' Out, I was familiar with the music — I've got every album Billy Joel ever released, including the classical one — but I didn't know what it was about. The basics: Five friends (Brenda, Eddie, James, Judy, and Tony) live the good life until the Vietnam War separates them and threatens to tear them apart forever unless they find the forgiveness and redemption they need.

It's a moving story, told completely through song — no dialog at all. And it's beautifully executed as a ballet. I wasn't expecting that! But everyone — from the leads to the ensemble to the piano man and his band — were amazing. I ended up enjoying it much more than I expected. And the $140 tickets were a nice bonus, too. :-)

Now it's off to bed for me. My hand is hurting pretty badly today and it's a bit swollen, so typing is becoming an annoyance. I also need to read over some health-type stuff sent by my Malaysian sword-wielding friend. ::grins:: We've been talking through some self-actualization health-type stuff. Now I'm going to take his recommendations and put together a shopping list.

Trouble is that, even though he's spent an extensive amount of time in the states, there's still a big cultural divide between here and there. Anybody want to guess where I can find chyawanprash or what's in it?

It's not Failure ... it's Deferred Success!

Abby and I had a good time tonight. ^_^ She gave Paul and me 8th row tickets to see Movin' Out tomorrow. I'll let you know how it is. ::grins::

In the meantime, I thought you'd get a kick out of this:

From Global Language Monitor (www.languagemonitor.com):

The Top Politically inCorrect Words for 2005

1. Misguided Criminals for Terrorist: The BBC attempts to strip away all emotion by using what it considers neutral descriptions when describing those who carried out the bombings in the London Tubes. The rub: the professed intent of these misguided criminals was to kill, without warning, as many innocents as possible (which is the common definition for the term "terrorist").

2. Intrinsic Aptitude (or lack thereof) was a suggestion by Lawrence Summers, the president of Harvard, on why women might be underrepresented in engineering and science. He was nearly fired for his speculation.

3. Thought Shower or Word Shower substituting for brainstorm so as not to offend those with brain disorders such as epilepsy.

4. Scum or "la racaille" for French citizens of Moslem and North African descent inhabiting the projects ringing French Cities. France's Interior Minister, Nicolas Sarkozy, used this most Politically inCorrect (and reprehensible) label to describe the young rioters (and by extension all the inhabitants of the Cities).

5. Out of the Mainstream when used to describe the ideology of any political opponent: At one time slavery was in the mainstream, thinking the sun orbited the earth was in the mainstream, having your blood sucked out by leeches was in the mainstream. What's so great about being in the mainstream?

6. Deferred Success as a euphemism for the word fail. The Professional Association of Teachers in the UK considered a proposal to replace any notion of failure with deferred success in order to bolster students self-esteem.

7. Womyn for Women to distance the word from man. This in spite of the fact that the term man in the original Indo-European is gender neutral (as have been its successors for some 5,000 years).

8. C.E. for A.D.: Is the current year A.D. 2005 or 2005 C.E.? There is a movement to strip A.D. (Latin for Year of our Lord) from the year designation used in the West since the 5th century and replace it with the supposedly more neutral Common Era (though the zero reference year for the beginning of the Common Era remains the year of Christ's birth).

9. "God Rest Ye Merry Persons" for "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen": A Christmas, eh, Holiday, carol with 500 years of history is not enough to sway the Anglican Church at Cardiff Cathedral (Wales) from changing the original lyrics.

10. Banning the word Mate: the Department of Parliamentary Services in Canberra issued a general warning to its security staff banning the use of the word 'mate' in any dealings they might have with both members of the Parliament and the public. What next? banning Down Under so as not to offend those living in the Up Over.

Holiday Bonus: Happy Holidays or Season's Greetings for Christmas (which in some UK schools now label Wintervale. (In the word X-Mas, the Greek letter 'Chi' represented by the Roman X actually stands for the first two letters of the name Christ.)

Last year the Top Politically Incorrect words were: Los Angeles Countys insistence of covering over with labels any computer networking protocols that mention master/slave jargon. Following closely were non-same sex marriage for marriage, and waitron for waiter or waitress.

"If you do things right..."

So FF and I are having dinner tomorrow night. It's been, hmm, seven years since I've seen her, and suddenly she wants to have dinner? Methinks she just wants to bean me for making comments about her a couple of days ago. ::grins::

No, it'll be nice to catch up with an old friend. And it'll be very nice to get her head out of the classroom for a while. Lord knows you spend too much time with middle-schoolers and you start acting like one. (That goes double for you, Carrie -- spend too much time with 2-year-olds, and...)

So what's up with the Zoidberg picture, you ask? Last night, I was watching Futurama -- the episode titled "Godfellas" -- and I heard a quote I really like. "If you do things right, people won't be sure if you've done anything at all."

That's deep for a cartoon. I dig it.

The branding of the idiot

The Glenn Beck Program — at least on local radio — is promoting itself using clips from Green Day's "American Idiot." Have they ever listened to the song? Is this supposed to be some sort of lame attempt at humor?

If you have no idea what this guy espouses, you can see Wiki for details. From a purely technical standpoint, Beck makes for good radio — he's funny and edgy. But after a few minutes, his overt and cynical conservative humor leaves me gritting my teeth.

We independents don't really have a home on talk radio these days. The choices are the EIB Network and Air America. I cringe at both.

In his defense, Beck is still nowhere as offensive as Savage. Now there's a good example of idiocy.

I'm only funny to myself

I took the 3-Variable Funny Test mentioned on FF's blog. Then I hacked up the results in Notepad because they were one big ad for the parent site.

FF and I have the same sense of humor ... which is to say that I, too, could become an overstressed middle school Latin teacher who drinks too much and goes to Young Republican meetings. (You know it's all love, dear.)

THE WIT

(57% dark, 38% spontaneous, 26% vulgar)

your humor style:
CLEAN | COMPLEX | DARK

You like things edgy, subtle, and smart. I guess that means you're probably an intellectual, but don't take that to mean pretentious. You realize 'dumb' can be witty — after all isn't that the Simpsons' philosophy? — but rudeness for its own sake, 'gross-out' humor and most other things found in a fraternity leave you totally flat.

I guess you just have a more cerebral approach than most. You have the perfect mindset for a joke writer or staff writer. Your sense of humor takes the most thought to appreciate, but it's also the best, in my opinion. You probably loved the Office. If you don't know what I'm talking about, check it out here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/theoffice/.

PEOPLE LIKE YOU: Jon Stewart - Woody Allen - Ricky Gervais

I also took the "Would You Have Been a Nazi?" test and discovered I was not Nazi material. The results showed I would have been an expatriate like Einstein. (I'm not saying I compare to Einstein ... just that his picture was used in my results.)

Weeeell, how did everyone else score?

Happiness is finding a pencil...

9 Things That Made Me Happy Today:

1. Getting a compliment on my new glasses from somebody I didn't think would notice.
   
2. Wearing glittery pink penguin socks and patent leather Mary Janes to work.
3. Grocery shopping without an anxiety attack.
4. This picture of Paul, taken in the car. He was out like a light.
5. Being offered a cup of squash soup because I didn't have time to get lunch.
6. Buying my first case of Abita since Matt left Memphis.
7. Beating the Bunny Chow master this morning (though he totally owned me tonight).
8. Watching an all-new episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm, to which I've recently become addicted.
   
9. And last -- but certainly not least -- being back in my own bed. ^_^

Fair enough?

Life, liberty, and the pursuit of Woody

It couldn't have been just as easy as waking up and getting on the road. It's never that easy. When we woke up (an hour an a half late), Paul had a migraine. He threw up five times and went back to bed.

I was debating whether to take the trip alone or cancel. Neither sounded appealing. But with an extra hour of sleep, some Dramamine and Excedrin Migraine, Paul felt well enough to ride along. He let me do all the driving, and I had a great time.

Monstee is very flurffy! Paul and I managed to drag him out of The Cave (a good thing, because I was a little scared of getting too close to the moldy box of porn). When he saw Paul, he got a look in his eye that can only be described as "MMmmMMmmmMmeaty!!!!1" I screamed for Paul to run as Monstee lunged at him hungrily. Monstee managed to grab one of Paul's arms and was getting ready to sink his teeth in ... when he yowled in pain!

Turns out when a monster gets a fang pulled, he is not allowed to eat solid foods, and Paul qualifies as a solid food. I thought I saw a big blue tear in Monstee's eye as Paul pulled away his arm, now covered in drool. After that, we swore to put the entire incident behind us and had a nice soft Paul-free meal.

Paul and I continued on to Indy, checked into the hotel (the Adam's Mark is very nice!), and made it to Woody's restaurant 20 minutes before he got off work. He was very surprised, so yeah, Mission Accomplished. Turns out he's working 60- and 70-hour weeks bartending, so I know he was tired. We told him to go home and get some sleep, but he insisted he couldn't, since we'd driven almost eight hours to see him. ::grins:: We ended up at Starbucks until midnight. When we left, it was raining.

So Paul's still asleep -- it's 10:15 a.m. here -- and I'm trying to decide what I want to do this morning. Maybe we'll just take it easy before we get back on the road. I'll figure something out before he wakes up.

If I get any good pics, I'll post 'em. :-)

Impromptu road trip!

Paul and I are taking an impromptu road trip to Indy to see Woody. We called his work to see if he was going to be there tomorrow, and now we're just going to ... show up. ::grins::

Turns out the M-Cave is on our route. Anybody have greetings they want to send Monstee in person? At your request, I can hug him and/or kick him in the fuzzy blue nads. Let me know.

Socks and glasses

They're here! Hubby hasn't noticed them yet. I guess I could've put some lipstick on before I took the picture, but I was sitting in the car ... and yeah, screw it.

So I wore my Blow Pop socks to work today.

And I'm driving into the parking lot thinking, "Hey, today is going to be a great day because I'm off tomorrow and I'm wearing my Blow Pop socks today!"

And, like, four hours later, my boss called a meeting to tell us she was quitting her job so she could go back to school full time to become an interior designer. Man, I was crushed!

I wanted to jump up in the meeting and yell, "YOU CAN'T QUIT TODAY! I'M WEARING MY BLOW POP SOCKS!" But I didn't. Instead I just sat there and cried a little bit, because the luster of my magic socks had just grown a bit dimmer.

Lemon + milk = curds

Last night, after my woeful seasick post, Paul and I decided to meet for dinner at a casual restaurant/bakery near the University.

He had been grading papers and I had been stressing over legal notices, so it was a nice break. We ordered sandwiches and soup and talked about some graphic design work I'm doing for his lab.

Before we left, we refilled our drinks. Now, for those of you who are not from the South, let me fill you in on a little secret: We don't just drink iced tea down here. We drink sweet tea. And it's not that crap that passes for sweet tea up North either. I know. I've been there.

Southern sweet tea is in a category by itself. It doesn't even really have the consistency of a drink anymore. It's more of a syrup, and nine times out of ten, you don't really taste the tea. It's brown-colored sugar water ... and that's how most Southerners like it. (Side note: A couple of Northern friends have experienced rapture over a big plate of Memphis-style barbecue and a glass of sweet tea. Don't knock it 'til you've tried it.)

ANYway, I went to refill my sweet tea when I realized the lemons I'd squeezed into my tea were still sitting on the bottom of my cup. I found a little plastic tub that said "trash can" near the coffee bar and dumped my lemons into it, then turned to walk away.

That's when I noticed the other side of the tub. It read: "Creamer. NOT a trash can."

I booked it out of there before any of the employees noticed their creamer was covered in syrupy brown sweet tea and three-quarters of a used-up lemon. I guess I curdled up all their creamer, but in my defense, the tub wasn't properly labeled.

That's my story and I'm stickin' to it.

Flux

I know the changes are coming. They've already started.

Sometimes I ride my lifeboat through the storms, feeling myself thrown about, sure I'm going to topple at any moment under the sheer power of the wind and waves. Every ounce of my being is focused on keeping myself upright, and most of the time, I come out unscathed.

Sometimes I ride my lifeboat through calm weather, dangling my toes overboard into the brine, basking in the sunshine as it passes between wispy clouds. And when I look up, I realize that I've drifted away from the dock when I wasn't paying attention because I thought I was secure.

And nights like tonight, I am somewhere in between. In flux. I am lazing away even as the storm approaches. I see the people on the shore, the ones keeping an eye on me, but I can't make out their faces. And when I finally come to rest, finally step foot on solid ground once again, I am always surprised who's waited it out for me and who's moved on.

Fortunarati

Because I think so highly of you, I've decided to share the latest fortunes in my fortune cookie fortune collection.

I also scanned the backs of the fortune cookies, so if you'd like to see your lucky numbers, click here and take your pick. If you hit the lottery, I expect a small cut.
-----------------------------------------

So I didn't really talk about the demolition yesterday ... just kind of let the picture speak for itself.

We ended up going to Fred's 17th floor apartment — he's the guy who works upstairs — at 6 frickin' a.m. It was way too early. We didn't know anybody else there, but they made us feel very welcome. Fred even lent us a tripod so that Mr. Shaky Hands wouldn't flub up the photos. Paul and I really appreciated that. (Also: Paul's photo is on the front page of Tuesday's TDN. Yay Paul! Link forthcoming.)

We snuck out as soon as the event was over and rode down the elevator with the building's paperboys (who informed us there are 114 apartments in the building and made Paul toss papers down the hall on a couple of floors). When we finally hit the lobby, I groaned. The concrete dust was so thick outside that we could hardly see in front of us — and we weren't even that close to the blast!

We pulled our shirts up over our noses and mouths and ran out to the Vue, thanking our lucky stars that we'd been able to find a close parking spot. Here's what it looked like, and you can't even get the full effect of how much concrete covered my car.

I was really surprised how few people showed up. Yes, it was early in the morning, but it was also the biggest implosion in the U.S. this year. That's a big deal! But as we were driving home, I was pretty thankful that there wasn't a lot of traffic with which to contend.

We hit up a car wash on the way home to clean off all the dust. The super-mega-ultra power wash deluxe (a.k.a. the most expensive one) did a good job getting it clean, except for some stubborn bird poop that's been on my windshield since we came home from Destin. With my luck, it probably mixed with some concrete and will now be a permanent feature. (Remember: It's not a bug, it's a feature!)

So, long story short (warning: pun ahead) ... Paul and I had a blast. ::grins::

Then we came home and went back to bed. We're too old for a 4 a.m. wake-up call.

The implosion was amazing

When we are gone, it'll still go on

During the drive home last night, Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start the Fire" came on the iPod. If you don't know (or don't remember) the song, he mentions important events from the years when he was growing up. For each year from '49 to '63, he lists six or seven things that happened that year, followed by a couple of verses that sum up '64 to '89.

It reminded me of this project I did in high school — I actually think FF was on my team — in which we each deconstructed a verse and reported on that year's events. (Who was Princess Grace? What's Thalidomide? etc.) Actually, it ended up being a really interesting way of learning about the last 50 years.

So as I'm driving home, I start thinking about what the song would be like if it were rewritten today. A lot of stuff has happened since the song was released in 1989! I figured if his version just kind of mushed words into the beat, then I could do that too. ;)

(1990) Hubble launch, Kervorkian, Germany is one again,
Mandela, Norplant, Mayor Berry caught on crack.
(1991) Anita Hill, Rodney King, Magic Johnson’s HIV,
USSR is no more, Jeffrey Dahmer, Desert Storm.
(1992) Clinton’s in, Nicoderm, Gotti’s got a prison term.
World Wide Web, L.A. riots, Johnny Carson calls it quits.
(1993) NAFTA, Hubble, Czechs split, Lorena and John Bobbitt,
Waco, Cheers ends, combat time for women.
(chorus)

(1994) Tonya Harding, Jackie O., O.J. Simpson’s Bronco,
Whitewater, Aristide, Chunnel, no World Series.
(1995) Rwanda, Scott O’Grady, bomb in Oklahoma City,
Million Man March, Ebola, Quebec stays part of Canada.
(1996) Flight 800, Richard Jewell, Ebonics are taught in school,
Port Arthur shooting spree, Unabomber Kaczynski.
(1997) Di’s dead, Tim McVeigh, Pathfinder, JonBenet,
Heaven’s Gate, Dolly clone, China takes back Hong Kong.
(chorus)

(1998) El Nino, Lewinsky, Mark McGwire is homerun king,
Impeachment, Newt resigns, John Glenn takes another ride.
(1999) Y2K, Elian, Woodstock concerts once again,
Europe has new currency, Columbine tragedy.
(2000) Milosevic, Mad Cow Disease, fighting in the Middle East
Election recount, Korean peace, Dot-com bubble’s history.
(2001) Al-Qaeda in Afghanistan, race riots, Taliban,
Robert Hanssen, anthrax, World Trade Center is attacked.
(chorus)

(2002) Middle East policy, sniper shoots up D.C.
Korean nukes, Ken Lay, Bali nightclub blown away.
(2003) Charles Taylor, Valerie Plame, White House dodges blame,
IAEA in Iran, Saddam Hussein is taken down
(2004) George Bush, John Kerry, Abu Ghraib, gays marry
Hostages in Chechnya, tsunami wipes out Asia
(2005) Oil for food, hurricanes, Deep Throat speaks up again,
Gas wars, Medicare, Michael Jackson in the clear
(chorus)

So ... what important events did I leave out and how would you squeeze it in? Most info is from here.

Just wait 'til Monday morning

I don't like sunflowers. It's not that I'm scared of them, but I just find them incredibly repugnant. One of my coworkers found out and spread the word ... and now this sign is posted on the bathroom door across from my closet.

The thing is that it's on the inside of the door so I can see it from my desk when the bathroom is open. That means anytime somebody closes the door to use the bathroom, they are greeted by a sign that reads "I'm watching you," which is doubly creepy if they don't know the story behind it.

Surprisingly, only one person has mentioned anything about it.

Sunday is the BMH implosion, and I've secured seats in two locations — the 17th floor apartment of somebody who works upstairs ... and the super-exclusive media tent.

Not sure yet where I'm going to set up shop. The apartment is in a strategic location, further away and indoors. However, I'm afraid I won't get a good view if tons of people are crowded around this guy's window. The media tent is much closer and outdoors. However, it's near the blast and rubble and I don't want a lungful of asbestos/concrete/whatever.

Paul's coming along with me. So, supposedly, are Kendal and Kyle, a coworker's kids. They're about a decade my junior, but they're some of the coolest teens I know, and I'd be happy to have them along. I'm worried that I won't be able to get Paul, Kendal and Kyle into the media tent, so I may not have a choice about where we go.

In the meantime, I need to come up with a payback prank to play on the chica who put up the sunflower sign. I know she's creeped out by bugs. My original plan was to buy a pack of plastic roaches and rig them up to her chair with fishing line so that when she pulls out her chair to sit down, they scamper across her desk and keyboard. Of course, I'm open to other ideas. ::grins::

P.S. Sorry about my little tantrum in yesterday's post. I feel much better having gotten it off my chest. ^_^

Fish out of water

I am not a huge fan of reality TV. Don't get me wrong — it's not that I don't like it. I'm just not into the genre as much as Johanna, for example, who wrote one bestselling novel about reality TV and has another one on the way.

So until last night, I had never seen FOX's Trading Spouses. But after seeing a week's worth of crazy teasers, I decided to TiVo it. The premise of the show is that two moms (and I think they've done two dads, too) switch families for a week. The shows are aired in two segments. At the end of the second segment, each family is given $50,000 ... with one catch. The substitute parents get to allocate that family's money.

Last night, a devout Christian from Louisiana was switched with a neo-hippie hypnotherapist from Boston. The hypnotherapist seemed to really warm up to the Christian family, while the Christian woman flipped out because she said the hippie family was surrounded by "dark forces."

Things really became heated when the two families planned parties to introduce their new mom to their friends. The hypnotherapist was rudely grilled by some Christian women who criticized her and treated her like an outcast at lunch. On the other hand, the hippie family planned a solstice party/drum circle at which absolutely everyone was kind and friendly to the Christian woman.

As for me, I'm taking a long break from religion until I'm straightened out. Until then, here's my 30-second soapbox: Jesus was inclusive of social rejects. He hung out with and ministered to prostitutes, adulterers, and tax collectors. Why? Because when you share love, you never run out. Of course it's not that cut and dry. I know tolerant religious people and intolerant atheists (including one who's proud of being intolerant). But the message is the same. If you're not sharing your love and your time with those around you, then you're the one losing out.

P.S. Speaking of love and tolerance, today I found a nice surprise from Matt ... six months after he left Memphis. I thought that when he left, he stuck $5 in the console of my car. Today, when I opened it, there was a helluva lot more than $5 in there. Apparently, every time I gave him money for cigarettes, he put it in my console. It actually made me cry. I said I didn't miss him at all, but maybe I do just a bit. :-\

How many days til Christmas?

I think it's never too early to start wishlisting for Christmas. (Did I just invent a word? No, not Christmas, doofus. I mean "wishlisting." Is that a word?)

Mom and Dad always ask what I want for the holidays and I never have a good answer. Then January rolls around and I think of a few things I'd never buy for myself. This year will be different! I have a list to print out and carry around until somebody asks me what I want. ^_^

• Any of the sweet ThinkGeek shirts I've been lusting over for the past couple of years:
  • WASD
  • Clueless SQL query
  • Aggro!!!!!
  • Gabe or Tycho (I dig Gabe, but both are cool.)
• The Solsuno Watch (for those with deep pockets)
• A Bösendorfer (for those with deeper pockets)
  
• A number of piano books to replenish my supply (an Amro certificate would do the trick)
  
• The latest Dilbert, Get Fuzzy and Pearls Before Swine anthologies
• Beads for my necklace. This means you guys. Now.
  

I'd also just accept some time with friends. It's been two years since GoatMeat and one year since GraceLAN. (How time flies!) I have seen Woody since then, but it was under exigent circumstances. At some point I'll drag Paul out of the lab long enough to go visit Johnny or the good doctor. Why oh why does my circle of villainy extend so far away?

I've also got to come up with gifts for a couple dozen online buddies. Anyone have suggestions for what I should get you guys??

New glasses

I bought $500 in eyeglasses tonight. Actually, I don't feel too bad about the price, because I got a really good deal. Without the discount, it would have been $800.

No, I don't look emo in them. Really. The woman who helped me, Charlene, was an absolute angel. She helped me try on about 30 pairs of glasses before we agreed on one we thought suited my face and personality really well. :)

It's going to take two weeks for them to come in. This is because the "glasses in about an hour" deal didn't apply to people who are functionally blind. They have to ship off to headquarters to get those made. My nearsightedness worsened in my left eye from -6.25 to -6.75 and in my right eye from -7.0 to -7.75. My astigmatism worsened to .50 in both eyes at a 180-degree axis.

The whole eye doc thing kind of came up suddenly. I mean, I knew my eyes had gotten significantly worse in the 18 months since my last appointment. I've always had trouble seeing things without my glasses on, but recently, I've been having trouble making out the shapes and colors of things a few feet away.

Then last night, I ran into a wall. A wall! I've lived in this house for more than a decade, and I didn't see the edge of the doorway. D'oh! My right shoulder (and my ego) took a bruising from that one, so I called the eye doctor first thing this morning.

I'll take a picture of myself wearing the glasses when they come in. In the meantime, what do you think? Yeah, they're funky and retro, but I think they'll suit my personality just fine.

[Edit: Okay, okay. Lauren's right. Maybe a bit emo. Ironically, the glasses come with a "happiness guarantee," so if I get a bunch of "cheer up" comments, I'll cash in on my happiness and get a new pair.]