Say it, don't spray it

I leave work pretty late sometimes, and, as I've mentioned before, I don't work in the safest neighborhood in the world.

When I'm the last one out of the building, which is often enough to warrant a mention, I scan the alley with the security camera and do my best not to fumble my keys when I deadbolt the lock. I keep a finger on the car alarm button. I walk quickly and keep an eye out.

But earlier this week, there was a strange SUV in the lot. The camera couldn't see over the SUV, and I didn't know what was on the other side. Sigh. So instead of keeping a finger on the car alarm, I opened my pocket knife and carried it menacingly.

Nothing was on the other side of the SUV.

I thought it about time to reconsider the pepper spray issue. So I popped open the Tennessee Code and searched for mace, pepper spray, and self-defense. The law only mentions pepper spray as it pertains to law enforcement. As for citizens, one may use self-defense to protect life or property in imminent danger, as long as the self-defense is not "deadly force."

Well, question answered. Time to buy some pepper spray.

I found a self-defense place in Memphis with an online store as well as a brick-and-mortar presence. And, man, they have Everything. Cell phone stun gun? Check. Mace-loaded hand weights? Got that too. They even have cool things like voice changers and spyglasses.

What caught my eye, though, was the "stunning ring." An onyx-set ring loaded with pepper spray. Now that's some serious defense there. I don't think I'd wear it though. Knowing me, I'd get a little trigger-happy when somebody rubbed me the wrong way.

... But it sure is fun to dream. :)