When you gotta go, you gotta go

Some parents hate their children. There's simply no other explanation for names like Chiquita, Cyan, Cactus ... or, in this case, Charmin. (Incidentally, in my research, I also came across the names Xakery and Akuji, with the latter meaning "dead and awake.")

Anyway, it seems Ms. Charmin has embraced her unfortunate name and its toilet paper roots. Paul and I saw a car bearing this front vanity plate outside a gas station the other night.

I wish I had been brave enough to stick around and talk to her.

I just want to know what it felt like to grow up with the name Charmin. How often does she hear the "Don't squeeze the Charmin" slogan? And what about the new "Best for bear bottoms" campaign? Does she have siblings named Scott and Cottonelle? Has she ever had a TP-induced psychotic episode? And, most importantly, where does she stand on the debate to hang the roll over or under?

Important questions indeed.

The low cost of living?

The April Wired has a blurb ("Home Swede Home," pg 94) about Ikea's plans to break ground on BoKlok -- the home-furnishing company's "low-income housing" concept -- in Gateshead, England. The homes will have high ceilings and Whirlpool appliances, among other amenities. Price tag on an 872-square-foot, three-bedroom home? $290,000.

Now I'll admit Memphis has a fairly low cost of living. But come on, $290,000? Maybe it's low-income living by Ikea's standards, but that'd buy a pretty nice place around here. Certainly something more substantial than 872 square feet.

Did I mention that with every purchase, Ikea tosses in a consultation with an interior designer? After all, you can't have your low-income residents using regular furniture. No, no, they must decorate with the sleek, functional beauty of Swedish design.

Duh, even poor people should know that.

Dave (et al) v. Goliath

You guys know who Todd Goldman is? He's the guy behind this knee-slapping slogan. You've probably seen his work floating around various teen-happy stores.

His company's name is David and Goliath Inc. You can get a complete character list here.

And now that you've acquainted yourselves with his art, let me in on a little secret: Most of it isn't his at all. He's making good money off other people's work. I've been following this story for about a week now, and it's got me so steamed that I wanted everyone else to get steamed too. :)

Take, for example, the overlay at left. The black-and-white portion is a 2004 sketch by former KeenSpot artist Dave Kelly. The color portion is a subsequent TG painting. It looks (gasp!) traced! "No, no -- surely a mistake," I said. A misunderstanding. I mean, plagiarists can be stupid, but certainly the head of a giant corporation knows better than to trace somebody else's art, right?

And then I saw this list of all the properties TG has ripped off, including -- but not limited to -- various online clip art, the fantastic Roman Dirge's Lenore, and Windows 3.1 sprite Neko. If you only visit one of these hyperlinks, it needs to be the list of copied art. Some of the pieces are simply stolen slogans and concepts, which might be excusable if it were occasional (and thus "by mistake"), but several others are completely traced or only slightly modified.

The Las Vegas Sun covered this a few days ago. And Publisher's Weekly blog PW: The Beat has weighed in too, first with a story about the scandal, then with a second post about TG's online apology. In the apology-related press release, TG's publicist says Todd and his team make and receive thousands of submissions a month, adding, "I made a judgment error and didn’t research the background of this particular submission. My intention was not to copy Mr. Kelly. I have never seen his work before and would never intentionally knock-off someone else’s idea."

Sounds sincere, right? Too bad that before TG's publicists wrote that drivel, TG himself had sabotaged the apology. When fans saw the strong, err, resemblance between TG's and Kelly's pieces, there was a huge backlash online -- including more than a few e-mails sent directly to Todd. Multiple people reported receiving auto-replies from TG's account that said, in part, "Here’s my inspiration! Every month I paint the works of a pedophile. This week, I chose the work of Dave Kelly..." (I'd go on, but it gets nastier. You can read the rest at PW: The Beat.)

And it rubs me the wrong way that TG makes so much money from his work: Fascination St. Gallery sells his originals in the $4,000-$5,000 range; lithographs are largely in the $600-$1,000 range. If I had to guess, more than a few are rips -- of both the directly traced and slightly modified varieties -- that have not been discovered yet. I'm sure many artists (especially Web artists) lack the money to fight a multimillion-dollar corporation, so chances are TG & co. will continue to dodge the bullet.

Roman Dirge said his attorneys have sent a cease-and-desist and that TG's legal team "basically gave me a middle finger in the form of words." Now, both Dirge and Dave Kelly say they're considering formal legal action.

I've heard a whole lot of anti-Todd sentiment in the past week, and very little in his defense. It seems to be a nearly universal concept that anyone -- much less a corporation -- should be able to profit from others' intellectual property. I hope TG gets what he deserves in court. But even more than that, I hope David and Goliath Inc. faces some backlash in the court of public opinion.

Happy National Licorice Day!

What? Two posts from me in one day? Impossible!

No, actually, I forgot to mention that today, April 12, is National Licorice Day. At least that's the word from the folks at Licorice International, who sent a lovely postcard to the office. Journalists get the strangest mail. :D

History lesson: Licorice is a root, specifically the root of a weed. Licorice candy originated in 17th century Holland. And most "licorice" treats in the United States aren't authentic -- they're flavored with anise instead of licorice root.

I poked through the kitchen for some licorice, but came up empty-handed. Sorry, National Licorice Day folks. I'll have to postpone my celebration.

But, hey, Mom and Dad gave Paul and me some Peeps for Easter. I'll eat a few of those and pretend its National Neon-Colored Sugar-Coated Marshmallow Day. There's a holiday I could really get behind.

Trojans, my @$$

Note: This does not affect KatesInk. It has never affected KatesInk. I'm hosted by a different company from ... well, everyone else. :)

De was the first to bring it to my attention. A possible trojan on the server. For real? Gah. I submitted a help ticket with the host, and here's how it all panned out:

My help ticket: Got an e-mail from the guy over at retcon.net saying the network administrator at his work had detected a trojan at retcon and had to clean the system. He asked me to pass the word on to you. He's temporarily moved his site. Please let me know what's going on so I can pass the word on to him. Thanks! -- Kate Simone

Reply #1 (Day 1, 7:06 p.m.): Hi, We are checking on your issue and will be update you shortly.

Reply #2 (Day 1, 8:20 p.m.): Hi Simone, Please let us know if we are to check with anything on the website with regard to the issue stated by your customer(at retcon.net) so that we can check and proceed with it for you. Also we could see that the site is yet to be moved, so please check and feel free to update us here for any further assistance regarding this. Thank you for your co-operation.

(Read that again. No, really. It says nothing of value. Absolutely nothing. Gah.)

My reply: Well, what do I tell this guy? Is there a trojan or not?

Reply #3 (Day 2, 2:14 p.m.): We are aware that there is a problem and I am actually working with security experts at the data-center to work out this issue. I apologize that the level1 techs aren't able to catch this issue. -- Derek Ting, General Manager, WoolNet - Hosting that you can count on (Emphasis mine -K-)

Reply #4 (Day 2: 5:20 p.m.): I have made some tweaks to the server that should fix the issue. Can you please check for me to confirm? Let me know if the problem still exists or has come back. Thanks a lot. I will also keep an eye on it myself. -- Derek Ting, General Manager, WoolNet - Hosting that you can count on

So there you have it, folks. Don't worry, we're still changing hosts. Derek and his staff have been wonderful for the past couple of years – and I mean that with all my heart. I'd recommend him provided the prospective customer could choose the server on which he is hosted. But now I've got two accounts with two companies, and I'm just washing my hands and starting over.

That said, the trojan crap should be fixed. Let me know if you still have issues.

Housekeeping note for site owners

Things have been pretty hectic lately, so I apologize for the lack of updates. In fact, this isn't a real update at all. Just need to address a little housekeeping issue for De, Monstee, Paul, Grr, FF, and SGG. Did I miss anybody?

As (I think) you guys know, I have become increasingly fed up with the web host for your sites. When I bought an account with that company, I was impressed with the high level of customer service, the separate cPanels for each account, and the ease with which I could set up packages for each of you, among other things. Then the spam filters started to malfunction. Then RoadRunner, Comcast and AOL started rejecting e-mails sent from our shared IP, though no fault of ours. The hosting company addressed some of these issues a while back, so I vowed to give it a second chance. Now the problems are back -- and arguably worse.

Late last year, I bought a "test" account with a different host and moved my site there. This host was quite a bit more expensive, but the company was highly recommended. My hope was to eventually move all of you over there. After a few months, I've changed my mind. While some of the features are great -- such as the awesome, on-target spam filter -- other features are less than intuitive. Also, the company uses a proprietary site management tool that, in my opinion, lacks the easy-to-use interface of cPanel.

So it's time. We're all moving somewhere together. As soon as possible. I'm 99.9 percent sure which host I am going to choose. I'm extremely pleased with reviews I've read about the company, and it has all the benefits I want: uptime guarantees, separate cPanels, and unlimited add-on domains. The only complaint I've seen so far is possibly slow customer service, which is a BIG turn-off, so I'm going to triple-check up on them before I give away my hard-earned cash monies. :)

My decision should be made in the next two days or so. Each of you needs to completely back up your sites pronto in preparation for the move. When you have finished the back-up, drop me an e-mail or an IM so I can begin the move. I will migrate my site first so I can close out one hosting account right away. (One less bill! Yay!) Paul will migrate next, and the rest of you in the order your sites are backed up. I'd like all sites ready to go in the next, say, two weeks or so.

UPDATE: Okay, the contract is signed with HostGator. Yay!

I feel like a mother when I say I'm doing this for your own good. Hopefully, you'll reap some benefit from it too. And, hey, you can't beat free. I lurve and miss you guys. <3

P.S. I've been swamped and haven't had much time to read your blogs, except an occasional post here or there. Would you please, in 20 words or less, catch me up on the last month of your respective lives?