Candy is dandy, but fruit is ... tastier

Happy pre-Valentine's Day! Actually, by the time most of you read this, it will be Valentine's Day. Hug the ones you love; you never know when they'll be gone.

So what does a guy buy his wife who's on a fruit and protein drink diet? Fruit! Paul sent me an Edible Arrangement of strawberries, grapes and fresh pineapple.

I am thoroughly convinced fresh pineapple makes the world go 'round. Seriously. I've been eating big hunks of fresh pineapple -- not the canned crap -- like it's going out of style, hitting the grocery store Every Single Morning on the way into work for the past couple of weeks for tasty, pineapple-y goodness. Yes, this is an expensive habit, but if I had to choose between a pack-a-day smoking addiction or a pineapple-a-day fruit addiction, I'd go with the pineapple. (Of course, that must be tempered by an admission that I love the smell of cigarette smoke[!] and encourage my friends to smoke in my car because I don't myself smoke.)

Sorry for the sucky cameraphone pic; my coworkers started to devour my arrangement and I wanted to make sure I got a pic before the entire thing was picked clean. And that's with me getting the arrangement at 5:30 p.m. -- after hours. It wouldn't have lasted even that long had it come during the workday.

The fruit and protein thing seems to be paying off, diet-wise. I feel like a million bucks with so much energy. And here's the cool (if inexplicable) thing: After five years of taking sleeping pills Every Single Night, I haven't needed them for a week. So ... energy + natural sleep = happy Kate.

I'll skip all the mooshy-gooshy talk -- hey, I'm sensitive towards the feelings of you single folk -- and instead just sincerely thank Paul for the arrangement. He is, quite possibly, the most caring husband in the universe.

And once more with the "Year of the Wha-?"
I became really confused when Grr and De both left me comments saying they could be race-car drivers. That's an oddly specific coincidence, I told myself. I didn't realize the placemat definitions were so ... pointed. My sign didn't list potential jobs ("Your sign promises success in any field you try"), so I had no idea the other ones listed star-crossed career advice.

And, having read through them, those are some weird job suggestions. Lawyer, actor, scientist, politician ... I understand all of those. But what's up with race-car driver, matador, priest or fortune-teller? How about secret agent or beachcomber -- is that even a job?

Who was in charge of this placemat career advice? I demand a refund!