Floating away

Here's your weird link for today -- something I stumbled across while looking for razor blades. For real. Proctor & Gamble has a site called ManQuarium, which opens with a chorus singing, "ManQuaaaariuuuuum."

Look, just visit it. I can't do it justice. You start by picking a body and, if you choose, uploading your crush's face (see the PaulQuarium to the left).

Answer four questions -- what's your perfect date, what's the best birthday present, etc.

Why let eHarmony match you on 29 dimensions of compatibility when you can answer four oversimplified questions and generate a cartoon man-god?

Once your answers have been tabulated and your perfect man has been created, choose to "Watch him doggy paddle" or "Dump this guy and start again."

If you choose to watch him doggy paddle, he feeds you sweet nothings that, apparently, are geared to make you buy razor blades(?!). Some of my favorite PaulQuarium sayings:

"I did a topographical survey of my surroundings, and I believe there is room in here for two. Will you join me, Goddess?"

"You're more beautiful than a Picasso. Less creepy, too."

"Goddess, I wrote you a haiku: My manquarium/Full of my goddess's charm/And lots of weird fish."

And my favorite: "I made a playlist of songs that remind me of you. It's very ... emo."

I am completely smitten. And I can't fight the overwhelming urge to buy razor blades.