I say the word "poo" 11 times in this post

Let me preface this post with a PG rating because it's about Doggy Poo. I don't mean the stuff that comes out the back hatch of your Jack Russell Terrier, but rather a movie called Doggy Poo. So if you're offended by the word "poo," or the word "doggy," or the concept of movies, or anything that actually does come out the back hatch of a Jack Russell Terrier, then scurry along until I have a more appropriate post.

Now that I've weeded out, oh, absolutely none of my audience, let me set this up a bit. Mom and Dad came to Charleston the day after Christmas bearing gifts — including a six-month subscription to Netflix. Our only experience with mail-order media was a blessedly short subscription to Gamefly, which I didn't blog about then and probably won't blog about later. Just trust me when I say it sucked.

Regarding Netflix, I wasn't so much interested in the movies-by-mail aspect, but rather the Instant Queue feature that lets me stream something like 12,000 titles through my Xbox 360. And it's free in conjunction with my regular Netflix membership. As of right now, I have seven movies in my mail queue (not including Stranger Than Fiction, which has been sitting on my coffee table for two days). On the other hand, my instant queue is up to 26 titles, and I've convinced myself that if they stay there long enough, I'll watch them all. (Okay, I haven't really convinced myself of that, but it sounds good.)

I've got to admit I'm fascinated by the choice of movies available for instant viewing. Some of them are pretty obvious: Pirates of the Caribbean, Ratatouille, classics such as Singin' in the Rain and TV series such as "Beverly Hills, 90210" (which, ahem, I've never seen). But there are plenty of really obscure titles also available for streaming, including the short-lived "Dilbert" TV series and the even shorter-lived, live-action series based on "The Tick." (I love Patrick Warburton!)

We've now reached a logical point in this post for me to make a confession: I have a relatively short attention span. I don't have ADD or anything like that, but I get antsy at the thought of sitting still for a two-hour movie — or any hour-long program that's not "NCIS." So most of the movies in my Instant Queue — Earth Girls are Easy (100 min.), Across the Universe (133 min.), Ladyhawke (120 min.) and Dan in Real Life (98 min.) — are going to sit there until I delete them or get the flu and have nothing better to do. Corpse Bride and Superman Doomsday each weigh in at 77 minutes, so I guess they have a chance.

We found Doggy Poo on a user-created list of movies "for the supremely baked." (We don't indulge in that, but the list was funny anyway.) Also on the list: The Cheese Nun and The Life of Birds. Supremely baked, indeed.

The 33-minute Doggy Poo is a dubbed Korean stop-motion film about a piece of, well, doggy poo that's unceremoniously dropped on the side of the road. He spends his days searching for the meaning of life ... and gains valuable insight from a pile of dirt and a passing leaf. The poo cries a lot. And I mean a lot. He's kind of whiny, as far as poos go.

It does have a happy ending, which I'm not going to spoil on the off-chance that you, too, have 33 minutes of your life to spare watching sad poo grapple with life's tough questions.

If you don't have Instant Queue, you're still in luck: The DVD also includes a behind-the-scenes documentary, a music video and alternate endings. The only alternate ending I can imagine involves the bottom of somebody's shoe, and I have no idea what a sad-poo music video would be like.

So there you have it. My movie review has nothing on De's new Best Picture Derby project, but then again, he can't say he spent his evening watching a movie about poo. Hmph.