Hot answers to 2008's Most Asked Questions

As an exercise in getting to know my readership, I sat down and analyzed the keyphrases that got you from a search engine to my site in 2008. Most people simply searched for "Kate's Ink," either alone or with one of a spate of things I regularly address on my blog. (Don't even get me started on how many people searched for Kate's Ink and hoodies.)

But I also noticed a lot of people clicked through after searching for answers to really pressing questions I'd never thought to answer before! Apparently, Kate's Ink is readily mistaken for Ask.com or Wikipedia.

Now, as my professor husband (yes, he's the doctor but one who doesn't help people) recently told someone, "If you are confused, chances are someone else is as well. So, when in class, never be afraid to ask a question because the likelihood is someone else is wondering the same thing."

In that vein, I'm going to answer your questions, right here, right now. And yes, all the things bolded in this post are actual keyphrases that resulted in clickthrus to my blog.

• How big is Hillshire Farms' Yard O' Beef? Three pounds, 4,560 calories, 408g of fat and 15,360mg of sodium.
• How long is a moment? In medieval times, it was a minute and a half. Now, not so much.
• How can I hire a callgirl for a night in Nepal? Call them? (It's a joke, people.)
• How to remove machine odors from sweaters made in Ecuador? Hand wash with glycerine soap. Don't dry clean or toss in a washing machine.
• Do tattoos cause muscle twitches? When you're getting one? Yes.


• Where can I buy Softsoap Morning Mist? It's discontinued and selling at a premium: $10 for a 255ml bottle on eBay. Ten bucks. For soap.
  
• Who's watching the Watchmen? Read the book. Or, if you have 160 minutes to kill March 6, see the movie.
• What is the danger of ingesting Pentel pens? There are no acute health effects, according to the product's official material safety data sheet.
• Is pizza with ranch dressing a Southern thing? No.
• How much is a bottle of Disaronno? The most-common sizes (375ml, 750ml and 1L) fall between 3.4 cents and 3.8 cents per mL, meaning the 750ml bottle is $25-$30.
  
• What is dimenhydrinate? Original-formula Dramamine.
  
• Why can't you sign a check with red ink? You can. It's an urban legend, according to Bankrate.com.
  
• What is leukocytosis? A fancy way of saying your white blood count is high. Your doctor will need to run tests to make sure it's not a symptom of another disease (e.g., leukemia). Chin up! It hasn't killed me yet.
• Is it OK to take meclizine with Pepto-Bismol? Drugs.com says yes, but check with your doc.
• What color does Lysol turn when mixed with cabbage juice? The HCl in Lysol Toilet Bowl Cleaner will turn red cabbage juice pink.
• What can I buy besides Zorbeez? The world is full of possibilities. To see my original Zorbeez post (a.k.a. the "Pie Face" post), which is surprisingly still popular, click here.

And now to address a few other things:

• To the several people who Googled my birth name: Hi. Drop me an e-mail.
• Instead of Googling ooh gotta pee, just go. The Internet will wait.
• If you were searching for Kate in pantyhose, look for a different Kate. But if you're adamant about telling me, "You're calling the shots, Kate," that's cool with me.
  
• I don't have the recipes for Pentacostal peanut brittle or Crazy Kate's Spicy Pickles, though both sound intriguing.
  
• City of Heroes yiff and Huckleberry Finn furries? Eww, no. Your princess is in another castle.

And finally, I'll leave you with a poorly worded question to which I have no answer (but maybe you do): Do anybody know a code for Kate?