P365 Day 205: The fuzzstache (or not)

The Fred-Kitty loves, l-o-v-e-s, to be brushed. And this is what comes off of her every day (sometimes twice a day). I don't know how she does it without experiencing Cat Pattern Baldness. She seriously shouldn't have any fuzz left.



I really wanted Paul to try it on ("A mustache!" "No!!" "OK, then, a beard!" "No!!" "Pleeeeease?" NOOO!!!"). And I tried to put it on Fred's head — it made for a very dapper Donald Trump look — but she wasn't playing along either. So behold: Paul's new Don King-inspired 'do:



After I had my fun, we had to throw the fuzzball away because the Joe-Kitty likes to eat those things, and really — no matter which end she expels it from — it's just asking for gastrointestinal trouble.

CAPTCHA fails (again and again)

Last night, Paul and I were setting up a Gmail address for a little Twitter endeavor he's doing. That's when I discovered Gmail has the hardest CAPTCHAs I've ever encountered.

I called him over. "What does that look like to you?" I asked. "Well, B ... O ... I dunno. Listen to the handicap thing," he replied. So we tried. And that was even more convoluted than the visual CAPTCHA.

Embarrassingly, it took me four tries to get it right. Here are my documented efforts. See if you can do better.

No. 1:


No. 2:


No. 3:


No. 4 (got this one right):


P.S. Raise your hand if you knew CAPTCHA stood for "Completely Automated Public Turing test to tell Computers and Humans Apart." (That's according to Wiki.) That is one of the most contrived acronyms I've ever heard, perhaps beaten only by USA PATRIOT Act, or "Uniting and Strengthening America by Providing Appropriate Tools Required to Intercept and Obstruct Terrorism Act of 2001."

P365 Day 204: It's a Toasty Bear kind of day

I woke up this morning feeling like half of my head was on fire. The sinuses on the left half of my face feel as if a cat sat there all night. And who knows. Maybe one did.



But, hey, it's nothing a little Sudafed and Toasty Bear can't fix. Toasty Bear is so cool. I mean, right now he's not cool because I can pop him in the microwave and make him toasty!!! But he can be cool, too, if I opt to put him in the freezer.

He's my sick-day buddy. Always got a few strange looks from coworkers who saw me taking my teddy bear out of the microwave. After a while I quit explaining the phenom and just let them wonder.

Toasty Bear used to smell good — specifically, according to Sootheze, like "lavender, thyme, lemon balm, hyssop, orange peel, rosemary, eucalyptus, peppermint, and rose buds." Now he smells a little like lavender ... but mostly like my cat. And that's fine. My cat doesn't smell that bad.

P365 Day 203: And the USPS onslaught begins

Our magazines have started coming in the mail. (See original post here.) I haven't checked it in a couple of days, so there's no telling what's waiting for me. (Magazines: good. Bills: bad.)



So, for reasons that should now be abundantly clear, I am in the market for one or two magazine racks. I started at Target.com, where the choices ranged from a $10 rack that hooks onto your toilet (??) to a $179 "Curve" holder that actually doesn't look that special, considering we can pick up a whole magazine table for the same price.

IKEA has a couple that look nice and are a great price, but none of them are available online and the closest IKEA is 196 miles away in Charlotte, N.C. Also, I've never been to an IKEA store, and I'm not sure I want to pop my IKEA cherry on a $10 magazine rack. That should be saved for one of the other pieces of furniture we need (two computer desks, two computer chairs and a TV stand).

Maybe I'll order this one from Wal-Mart so I can begin redecorating my apartment to look like my doctor's office.

P365 Day 202: 1, 2 ... skip a few ... 99, 100

After only a small amount of waffling, and taking nobody else's opinion into account, I have decided to apply to be a census taker. It pays $14 an hour, with most enumerators working 20 to 40 hours a week (good), mostly on nights and weekends (not so good).



Applicants for census-taker-type-people have to take a test to determine their qualifications. Mine is at 7 tonight. I took the practice test online and missed one of 28 questions. (For the record, the question was: "Referring to the following outline of a chapter from a census procedures manual [...], which section tells how supplies such as pencils, erasers, and paper clips should be stored?") D'oh.

Anyway, I don't think I'll have any problem with the test (clerical skills, reading, number skills, interpreting information and evaluating alternatives, and organizational skills) or the criminal background check (you know me and my shady background!), so I think it all comes down to whether they have already hired enough people to cover my ZIP code.

In other news, let me memorialize J.D. Salinger with this quote, sent to me by another editor:

"... I privately say to you, old friend ... please accept from me this unpretentious bouquet of early-blooming parentheses: (((())))." — J.D. Salinger (Raise High the Roof Beam, Carpenters and Seymour: An Introduction)

Oh, and to the folks west of me — and that's just about all of you — if you haven't already been struck by the ice/sleet/snow storm, it's headed your way. Bundle up. :)

P365 Day 201: Lame-a-thon

I didn't leave the house today — though, for the record, I think the Wellbutrin is doing some good because I didn't feel quite so sleepy and antisocial. In fact, I was probably a bit of a Twitter nuisance because all I did today was edit, listen to music (another post on AFP later), take pictures of my cats and troll Twitter.

The rare Joe-Kitty bath. I took a Crazy Cat Lady number of photos of my girls today, but, in my defense, they were being cute, I don't have children to bother and Paul's not much for photos.



Oh — there's another pic I want to share, one that's definitely worth a WTF even though it's not worthy of its own P365 day. Behold the most contrived "-thon" that I've ever seen. It's not clever. It's the opposite of clever. In fact, I still have no intention of buying a Toyota, though I did rewind my DVR, pause it, take a picture of the TV and post it on my blog.



Off to watch the State of the Union, admittedly predisposed to anger after reading about the proposed NASA budget slashes. I try to keep my political views to myself, so I must note that I'd be pissed no matter which party or politician was proposing cuts to any science programs.

My family is made of one journalist and one scientist. Only one of us is working in a profitable field right now, and (surprise!) it's not the journalist. (That's another post for another time.) The last thing I want to hear is that government-funded research programs are being cut again. Sigh. We'll see what shakes out of this SOTU address.

P365 Day 200: On cats and giraffes

This is not the face of a cat who is enjoying having her picture taken. Not that I can blame her; it was about the 18th take of the night, and even pretty girls have their limits.



The pretty girls also have to have touch-ups, such as the removal of our phone numbers from Fred's collar. Yeah, I know I'm not so good with The Photoshops, but color me clone-happy. (By the way, you can totally get lost in that Photoshop Disasters website. Example.)

By the way, I'm interested in donating a giraffe or three to One Million Giraffes, which is about as simple as the name implies. Basically, this dude made a bet that he could collect a million giraffes online by the end of 2011. From the stats on the site: "So far I've got 536,715 giraffes, so I need 463,285 more and I have 339 days left."

The only rules are that you have to make it yourself and you can't use a computer. You can include as many giraffes in your picture as you want, and you can use any medium (drawing, photos, sculpture). I've had this site tabbed for days now, browsing it occasionally. It's hard to pick favorites because they're all so different, but I really like this one.

Anyway, I'll probably draw (... or create in some way) a couple of giraffes. I'd love it if you guys would too. It's not like I'm asking you to document a year of your life in photos. (Ahem. No one is that crazy.) So make a giraffe, post it and send me linkies.

P.S. Day 200! I have made it to Day 200. Way past the halfway point. This calls for a toast: "To 165 more days! Huzzah!"

Miscellany too short for individual posts

What I'm listening to:

• I got my hands on six — read 'em, six — Ben Folds (with/without Five) bootlegs, including a couple of demo tapes circa 1993-1994 — you can even hear the audio pops on the cassettes! I think the fact that they're not super-processed makes me love them even more.
• Also got an audio rip of the Ben Folds Five Complete Sessions at West 54th.
• If you don't know (and you should, because this will be on the test Thursday), the only songs I listen to while editing are the Myst ambient soundtracks (Myst, Riven, Exile, Revelation and End of Ages). I hoped to find other works by Myst-series composers. Picked up Jack Wall's latest: the Mass Effect 2 soundtrack. Haven't listened yet.
• I found and bought the English-language release of The Triplets' Thicker Than Water (1991). Heard of it? Didn't think so. But 10-year-old Kate loved TTW, and I've looked many times for it in the past. Glad to see it's finally on iTunes.
  

What I'm reading:

• If editing counts, I'm reading chemistry proposals and magazine articles.
  
• The first issues of my 20 magazines — Wired and Stringing — have arrived!
  
• New feeds on Google Reader (all humor): Wedinator, This is Photobomb, Failbooking, Not Always Right, Poorly Dressed People.
• Great comic on my laptop: Amazing Super Powers
  
• Great comic on my desktop: Girls With Slingshots
• Anything and everything from The Oatmeal (Latest comic — released today — is about using semicolons. I think I'm in love.)

Things I need:

• Suggestions for good ambient music to use while editing
  
• A new computer desk
• A new desk chair
• Two muffin tins
• Gas money
  

P365 Day 199: Ring, ring (ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring)

I don't wear much jewelry. OK, I'm sure by some standards, I wear a lot of jewelry, but not nearly as much as I once did. The pieces I wear all have personal meaning to me, and I never, ever take them off (well, except for my leather-banded watch, which comes off when I shower).

This is my eight-band puzzle ring (also known as a Turkish wedding ring). It is a wedding band but it's not my "real" wedding band, so I wear it on the ring finger of my right hand. Its symbolism — faithfulness — is important to me; the wearer cannot take it off without having to put it together again.



Actually, this ring has another happy memory tied to it, one from when I was an editor in Memphis. The first day I wore it to work, an admiring coworker told me she'd had a puzzle ring years ago.

"Take it off! I want to put it back together!" she told me.

"Are you sure you remember how? I mean, this is an eight-band ring, not four or six like most of them," I replied. I'd bought it for that reason, in fact; I wanted something different and more intricate than four or six bands.

"Sure I'm sure," she said.

So I took it off — carefully. I handed it to her gingerly, intact. And then she shook the damn thing into eight shiny, jangling rings. She promised to have it back to me in no time flat.

The day passed. I asked about it. She said she was still working on it. The next day passed. Finally, she handed it back to me and I congratulated her on putting it together. "Oh, I didn't put it back together. I couldn't figure it out, so I took it home so (her husband and son) could look at it ... but they couldn't figure it out either. So we looked at online instructions. Finally, I drove it to the jewelry store and had them put it back together for me. They asked if I wanted to weld it together so this wouldn't happen again."

I laughed. She'd spent money on putting it back together.

As you can see, there's now a string around the back. But I wore it loose for years — like I said, it was symbolic to me, and I wanted the authenticity of keeping it on all the time. I once made a masseuse work around it (and honestly didn't feel too guilty even though she balked). But there came a point — maybe it was my MRI scan, during which I had to remove all my jewelry (doctor's orders!) — that I realized, hey, maybe it's not such a bad idea for a back-up plan in case I have to take it off.

But that situation with my coworker taught me a good lesson about showing off my ring: The easiest answer is, "Sure, you can see it ... on my finger."

P365 Day 198: Situation turning violent in 3, 2, 1 ...

Taunting the Joe-Kitty is all fun and games ...


... until these are embedded in your bloody hand as you scream obscenities and she prances away with the thing with which you were taunting her.


Vini, vidi, vicious.

P365 Day 197: It doesn't count unless they sparkle (and I'm not talking about vampires)

Five sparkly stars. Five sparkly stars, and Paul puts down the controller and says, "I have completed absolutely everything in New Super Mario Bros. Wii." His tone isn't filled with pride or accomplishment. He sounds ... sad.

And I guess you always do when you finish a really good game. I played Final Fantasy XII: Revenant Wings once, put it down for a year, then picked it up and played it again. And Paul and I each played The Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass twice through, back to back. We didn't even wait for it to cool down and seem "new" again.



The five sparkly stars did not come the first time Paul played NSMBW. No, he'd already beaten it once and gotten five stars — but not five sparkly stars. So he erased his file and started over. (Me? I would've saved that sucker for all eternity.) And the second time through, he did it. And it didn't take him long — not nearly as long as it would take me to finish the game even once.

So ... congratulations, Paul. The hours you spent playing video games during your formative years have paid off ... twice.

Now get back to work.

P365 Day 196: One man's trash is another man's awesome VHS footage

Paul and I went to Found Footage Festival at the American Theater tonight as part of the Charleston Comedy Festival — the first time FFF has been in Chas. We had a wonderful time. As we were leaving, I said to Paul, "Why did you enjoy this? You hate Everything is Terrible!" He replied, "Yeah, Everything is Terrible is, well, terrible. This was actually really funny."



I had trouble getting any good pics inside because I wasn't using my flash and lack a steady hand. But here's a pic of Nick and Joe on stage:



The only thing I would have liked to have seen is more Princess Kitty!!! (If you only watch one embedded video on my site this year, make this the one.)


Anyway, if you're in Chas, FFF will be playing at the American Theater tomorrow at 8 p.m. (tickets here).

A big thankyouthankyouthankyou to @VAsmacky and @foundfootage for convincing me to go. :)

Creepy anime eyes: a how-to

Usually, I wouldn't spend seven minutes watching a beauty/makeup video, but this absolutely fascinated me. Apparently, it's fairly easy to re-create "anime eyes" -- you know, the ginormous eyes that go best with purple hair and Sailor Moon costumes.

This look has a 60 percent chance of flying on Halloween. The other 364 days of the year? Nothin' doin'.



Color me creeped out.

P365 Day 195: Leggo my frickin' frackin' forearm!

The Eggo shortage goes on and on. Maybe more people should go out and buy a kickin' Belgian waffle-maker like Paul and I have. Kellogg's would take a hit, but you can definitely Leggo of Eggos when you've got nommier, bigger, better-than-anything-frozen waffles. Mmm. Waffles.



Also, I love this pic and caption posted with the MSNBC article:

Jackie Steele's a lovely lass, ain't she? Those red nails ... that wrist ... man, she makes me crave WAFFLES!

I went to the doctor today. Finally. Between my schedule and my doctor's schedule, we've been dancing around an appointment since, like, September. He added Wellbutrin to my pharm farm, so it's now Lamictal, Seroquel, Wellbutrin, Ambien and Klonopin. It's not so much that I need all these separately; it's more a case of giving me an upper to counteract a downer, and an anti-anxiety pill to counteract the upper, and so on. We'll see if it plays nicely with everything else.

I have a friend who has been on Wellbutrin for some time now, so I sent him a text message asking the pros/cons. My favorites from his list: super-sweats (obviously a "con"), vivid dreams and random giggles out of nowhere. The random giggles alone make me look forward to taking it.

Tomorrow: Found Footage Festival. @foundfootage's most recent Tweet: "Off to South Carolina tomorrow for a weekend of iced tea, boiled peanuts and porch rocking chairs. Also, the Charleston Comedy Festival." Sounds like they know more about South Carolina than Paul and I did when we moved here. Can't wait to see what's in store.

P365 Day 194: Got any ketchup for that?

I might have gone a teeny-tiny bit overboard with the blog posts today, but hey, some days there's a lot on my mind. And sometimes I can't fit it into 140 characters.

Anyway, here's the Joe-Kitty enjoying a decidedly non-Greenies cat treat. She's one part curious and three parts naughty:


Not that this is anything new. She's been a human-food enthusiast since she was a kitten:

Another Internet Jesus

Found this online today:

It joins Jesus the driver and Jesus the educated mom:

(The second one courtesy of @jensized, who posted the pic here.)

If you've seen Jesus floating around the Internet, take a screenshot and send it my way.

On No. 65

If you're not into college sports, you might not know tonight is a big night for the Memphis Tigers. They are facing UTEP (8pm EST, CBS College Sports) in what could become the Tigers' 65th straight conference win. That would break Kentucky's 64 conference wins between 1945 and 1950.

Being tied with Kentucky at 64 wins is a big deal — and a point of pride for Tigers fans. It's something we're not likely to see again in our lifetimes. But that one extra win that pushes the team (and its fans) past Kentucky ... well, that's important, too. Especially now. And especially because it's Kentucky's record.

I never thought I'd say this, but I have a soft spot in my heart for Tennessee Vols fans stung by Lane Kiffin. Memphis feels your pain. We were stung by John Calipari. And, for what it's worth, I hope Knoxville approves that plan to name a wastewater treatment plant the Lane Kiffin Sewage Center. He deserves the recognition.

I was reading Geoff Calkins' column today (an aside: his "floating head" headshot under the embedded video is very distracting), and was struck by these grafs:

Never mind if this is the week that Kentucky finally ascends to No. 1 in the polls. Never mind that the NCAA might take away the Memphis winning streak because Derrick Rose didn't take his standardized test.

People in Memphis will always know about the wins. They were there for all 64.

Memphis is a city of fickle fans. Just ask the Redbirds or the RiverKings. Or ask the Memphis Grizzlies — an NBA team that regularly sees fewer fans at its games than the Tigers do. (That says a lot about both the Grizzlies and the Tigers.)

Or use your time machine and ask the Memphis Blues — the defunct baseball team, not the rugby team (but I bet you've never heard of them either). Or the Showboats, the Chicks, the Mad Dogs or the Maniax. Raise your hand if you remember the Maniax. Keep your hand raised if you ever went to one of their games. Yeah. That's what I thought.

And Tigers fans have been fickle, too. I admit that I didn't go to a single game during my college years. I worked a lot, and the team wasn't ... well ... it wasn't 2007-08 caliber. The Blue Crew didn't exist. We weren't "Dreamers. Thinkers. Doers." (Nor were we the real motto — did you know there was a real motto? — "Imaginari. Cogitare. Facere.")

But over the course of several seasons and 64 conference wins, the team has garnered a strong following — even after Cal left, even after the NCAA issued sanctions — and hopefully that's something that doesn't rest on the shoulders of one player or one coach or one season.

Paying attention is a lot harder from 700 miles away. Because most games are only televised regionally, I'm reduced to following games via Twitter and ESPN box scores. I hope Paul and I move back to Memphis one day so I can show my Tiger Pride in person. If I had to guess, we'd probably buy season tickets next to our families.

But for now, I'll hunch over my netbook and hit F5 repeatedly. If 65 doesn't come, I'll be proud of 64. And if 65 does come, it'll be something Kentucky can't pack in a moving van — with the secretary and the house plants — and take away from us.

Agreed: That bathroom Monet is ugly. Let's fix it.

Yesterday, I posted a picture of the bathroom in Jax that forbids its potty patrons from tossing TP in the toilet. The original picture:



Step one: We've agreed the Monet is ugly. Step two: How much effort (or cash) do you think it would take to convince @Stargazergirl to replace — or at least cover up — that Monet with this ultra pro-TP painting by Alexandra Knight?



Bonus points for staging the bathroom to look like this painting.

United State of Pop 2009 mashup

I am notorious for being way behind in music, so I made a concerted effort at the end of 2009 to listen at least once to Billboard's top hits for the year. Some I hated. Some I liked enough to put on my iPod.

If you don't have the time or patience to listen to whole songs — or if you have, you know, a job that takes up precious time — try DJ Earworm's 2009 United State of Pop (Blame It on the Pop).



You can download the .mp3 on DJ Earworm's website.

P365 Day 193: Sponsors of the drive home included ...

... Grape NOS (to keep me awake while driving) and a big ol' can of Drank (because you need a downer after drinking nearly two bottles of NOS — about 600mg of caffeine):


... and by a lunch of Krystal sliders:


... and by the management of the bathroom in which you're not allowed to put toilet paper in the toilet(?!):


Also, I'd be remiss not to include parting pictures of my two feline friends in Jax. I tried to capture them in their natural habitats to showcase their essence. I present to you: Bored, Lazy Rascal and Big, Disinterested Daisy.

He also has whiter teeth and a flat belly

Remember Jesus — a.k.a. Harold — from the auto insurance ad on weather.com (original post here)?



Well, @jensized found him on Facebook, plugging degrees for moms:



Yeah. It's incredible how often this guy gets mistaken for my mom. The resemblance is uncanny.

P365 Day 192: Dinner wars!

Dinner wars! Yesterday, Paul sent me a text message to alert me he was at Five Guys for lunch and there were "like maybe 4 free tables." Booooo. Then I found out Jacksonville has two things Chas. does not: Krystal (a sliders chain much like White Castle) and good Chinese food. There are quite a few Chinese restaurants in the Charleston 'burbs, but they are either way expensive or way crappy. That means Paul and I have to get our Kung Pao/General Tso fix elsewhere -- like Memphis. Or, in my case, Jax.

So ... because Paul had a Five Guys nommy burger for lunch, I jealously requested Carrie and I get Chinese for dinner. We ended up at Carrie's brother's favorite Chinese joint, Golden Eggroll. And with a name like that, how can you go wrong?!


Our fortune cookies were remarkably similar -- Hers: "Linger over dinner discussions this week for needed advice." Mine: "You will soon be receiving sound spoken advice. Listen." -- so after fried rice and egg rolls, we enjoyed some post-dinner discourse on politics, religion and Facebook. I'm not sure any advice was given/received. Fail.

When we left Golden Eggroll, Carrie and I went to her parents' house. It was good to see her mom and dad ... and to meet Daisy:


She's a darling cat, though she looks a little peeved here that I didn't have treats in my hand. (Fake out!)

Overall, the trip was a success: I was able to introduce Carrie to the Flea Market Montgomery commercial (it's just like a mini mall!). Yeah, she's about three years late to the game.

Today, I'm driving back to Charleston. Here's to clear roads, good music and bottles of NOS. And maybe a goodbye lunch at Krystal. Take that, Mr. I-Had-Five-Guys!

P365 Day 191: The Rascal-Kitty

Meet Rascal, the chillest cat in the world. He's only slightly less awesome than the Fred-Kitty and the Joe-Kitty (not that I'm biased at all ...).

Rascal is a rescue cat who's been through a lot -- he came to the vet with a broken back leg and a hernia, and he had been swung around by his tail, which the vet had to remove. (It's OK, though; just like the Inky-Kitty I grew up with, Rascal wags his stub when he's happy!) On top of all that, Rascal is diabetic -- which means special food and no treats -- and he has to have an insulin shot every morning.

But none of that seems to gets him down. He's a sweet boy (though a little averse to loud noises and being picked up), and he has an affinity for sitting next to the computer monitor and following the mouse pointer.

Ahh, all this talk about Rascal. ... I must balance it! So I present to you the Joe-Kitty Warble Triple Threat, which makes for a great cell phone ringtone. (ò_ô)

Download/listen here.

P365 Day 190: Blast from the past (plus a super-rare pic of teen Kate with no makeup or hair color)

This collage of old Carrie 'n' Kate pics sits on the dresser in Carrie's guest room -- which is beautiful, by the way. I know it's not ideal to take P365 snapshots of picture collages (cheating!!!), but I'll be damned if I'm going to take out each one of those photos and shoot them separately.

The top left photo -- definitely my favorite -- was taken in 1989 at my 9th birthday party. The bottom right one is of Carrie and me riding a horse, probably in 1991 or 1992. I have absolutely no memory of that event. Either I've blocked it out or the meds have claimed yet another childhood memory. In any case, the picture exists, and it looks like we're having (some? a little?) fun.

Carrie and I were inseparable during our formative years. We met in the mid '80s and were best friends until she moved to Florida with her family in 1997, right after she graduated from high school. (For the record, that was also the summer I met Paul.) But for most of our teen years, she and I spent a lot of time at the now-defunct Espresso Etc., a pre-Starbucks mom-and-pop coffeehouse. We also had sleepovers every weekend, often put off our flute lessons -- I'm not sure any of my blog readers even realize I was a flautist in a past life -- played a lot of pinball and wrote tons of super-snarky songs that we could probably still sing nearly two decades later.

We even had a New Year's Eve tradition of going out for pie at midnight with our families. Pie. At midnight. Instead of fireworks. Pie.

But perhaps the funniest memories (and a whole different set of much less flattering photos) came from the summers we spent on the road for church youth trips. We went everywhere -- from Florida to Kansas to Texas to D.C. (the last being something else I've completely blocked out but for which there's photographic proof -- on Facebook, no less). She and I have bunked in lodges where roaches fell from the ceiling. We've also been housed in camp dormitories and kind people's homes -- once without running water. (Ugh. And we'd had a rough day and really needed showers, too.) I kind of wish blogging had existed in the early to mid '90s because I'd have had a lot of fodder.

Man, those pics bring back a lot of memories. Here's one more, taken on a road trip circa 1994-95:


No fireworks. Just pie. Pie.

P365 Day 189: My head likes this

I own a lot of hats. It's not that I wear hats that often, but I seem to collect them as if I wore them all the time. And while I was in college, I did. I had an epiphany: I could roll out of bed, take a shower and put on a hat without doing my hair! And that meant I could sleep in at least 10 minutes longer!

Anyway, this is probably my favorite hat. There's even an old pic of me wearing it at the office. It's fun, it's cozy, and it supports Over the Rainbow, a charity that teaches women in Ecuador to raise sheep, shear them, pull and dye the wool and knit it into hats. I'd link up a website, but I can't find one. It's been quite a while since I bought the hat, so maybe Over the Rainbow is no more.

I'm leaving in a little while — probably an hour-plus later than planned — to visit Carrie in Jacksonville. I packed my hat (and two sweaters and a thermal knit top and a flannel) before I looked at weather.com and realized it's about 70 degrees there. Eh, no biggie. Some days are just hat days — even if it's not cold outside.

P.S. Don't strain your eyes gazing at my iTunes. It's The Black Eyed Peas, OK Go and Jonathan Coulton. You're welcome.

P365 Day 188: Famous Black Raincoat, part trois (+ epilogue)

And now we've come to the end of our impromptu story about the Famous Black Raincoat.

Everyone in my household has tried it on, so now it's hung up, out of feline reach and ready for it to get cold outside again. The End.

Despite the dire warnings yesterday, we still have water pressure. So ... it sucks that I got up early (well, early by my unemployed standards) to shower, but so far — knock on wood — I haven't had to leave the house to use the bathroom. Sorry, Pilot. I'll see you tomorrow on my way to Jacksonville for the weekend to visit Carrie and her new house.

P365 Day 187: Famous Black Raincoat, part deux

Day two, and I still haven't tried on the Famous Black Raincoat. Why not? Because it's being hogged by the Fred-Kitty and the Joe-Kitty (note that Fred is on the coat and Joe is completely on the Fred):


... and then Paul took it away and put it on and wouldn't share:


Maybe tomorrow somebody will let me wear the coat. :-(

Oh, as I mentioned in my Tweet earlier, the water in our neighborhood is scheduled to be cut off between 9 a.m. and 4 p.m. tomorrow to "improve water system components." They go on to say, "We do not expect the necessary work will take longer than anticipated" — which seems like a complete duh statement to me — "however, when working underground, unexpected conditions can be encountered." They suggest storing water in the fridge for drinking and cooking, and in the bathtub to flush the toilet.

Dad suggested I go to the mall, but I'd need a much bigger bank account to stay at the mall for seven hours. There's only so much window shopping a person can do before the wallet opens and the money falls out. Chances are I'll go see a movie at my favorite theater/restaurant — two if my attention span holds out.

Frankly, I'm more worried about my bladder holding out than my attention span. Here's hoping no unexpected conditions are encountered underground.

Ruby, where art thou?

Several years ago, I canceled my AOL account — I'd switched to broadband service and bought a couple of domains, so I just didn't need AOL anymore. Then came Gmail and Gtalk, which eliminated the need to even have an AIM client. But the funny thing about AOL's business model (I assume they have a business model — ???) is that they allow you to keep your AOL screen name and e-mail even after you cancel your account. There is literally no need to pay for AOL.

But once in a while (i.e., when it crosses my mind every few months), I check my AOL e-mail on the off-chance that something of relevance has been languishing in my inbox. (I mean, hey, 2009 was the year I found my birth family, you know?)

And usually, I'm not surprised by what's there: lots of junk mail, forwards about Islamic law (???), and a few new e-mails about Ruby. Over the past year, I've only learned a little bit about Ruby. I know she's an orphaned dog who lives in SoCal, and I know her foster family accidentally used my e-mail address instead of their own for e-mail inquiries.

I've often wondered if poor Ruby's owners think nobody wants her because nobody has e-mailed them about her. Actually, the opposite is true. I've received nearly 30 e-mails about Ruby in the past year. I responded to the first two or three with a polite note to the effect of, "You have the wrong e-mail address. If you happen to find out more about Ruby, please let me know so I can pass it on." Nobody e-mailed back. I couldn't even find the website for the people fostering Ruby.

I've since found one picture that might be her. She's a cutie. No wonder people from all over the country — families, retirees, college professors — wanted to adopt her. But I got this pic off an "adoption alumni" site, which means Ruby now has a "forever home."

Her happy ending makes me smile.

And now there's absolutely no reason to waste my time checking my AOL mail again.

P365 Day 186: Famous black raincoat

Time for everyone to try on Paul's coat!

Fred first:


Then Joe:


And then, when it's time for Paul to wear the coat the next morning, it's covered in fuzz. Now that's what I call value-added!

Sadly, I was the only one in the family who did not try on the coat. :(

Our mailman's gonna love this

A few weeks ago, I posted a survey that asked, among other things, the magazines to which I subscribe. I mentioned three: Game Informer, Science and Chemical & Engineering News. A nice, manageable number. I forgot to mention I also have a subscription to Memphis Downtowner, for whom I still work on a long-distance basis.

Then, for Christmas, I was gifted three more: Popular Science (thanks, Paul's Mom and Dad!), Wired (thanks, Paul!) and Stringing (thanks, Mom and Dad!).

And tonight, we realized Paul's frequent flier miles were going to expire if not redeemed, and having no place to fly, we decided to spend the points on magazines. He had racked up quite a few points and we didn't have a huge selection from which to choose, so we ended up with The Atlantic, Entertainment Weekly, Boating World and Sea Magazine (those two might never be read but were nearly free even by frequent-flier-mile standards), BusinessWeek, The Economist, Glamour and Elle. Then I picked up a couple more at $2/year: Sports Illustrated, New York Magazine, Inc., Time and Real Simple.

This is a great example of why no monetary decisions should be made under the influence of Ambien. That stuff messes with the nerves connecting your fingers to your wallet. We didn't really need the two HDMI cables Paul bought after taking Ambien a couple of weeks ago (don't you let him convince you otherwise), nor did we need the 13 new magazines I ordered tonight. I get most of my news from Twitter anyway.

So here I am, waiting on one quarterly magazine, 10 monthlies, eight weeklies and one that publishes nine times a year (???). No regrets because all were free/almost free.

Paul brings up a good point, though: What happens if we move? Mail forwarding is a pain in the butt, and that's not taking into account the 20 magazines that'll need to be rerouted.

P365 Day 185: Blame it on the drain

For Christmas, my lovely cousin Ashley — a theater professor in Oklahoma who can sew and paint and tell good stories and do other things I'll one day learn to do — gave Paul and me a ceramic colander she painted and fired.

Now, Paul, thanks in large part to his mother, knows how to clean, do laundry (he's the primary laundry-doer in our household) and cook some, but I think he's a little sketchy on the purpose of a colander. We have a vintage, yellow, Tupperware colander exactly like the one Mom used while I was growing up (it's a classic!), and we use it occasionally to drain pasta and the like. But it has a handle and doesn't look much like a "traditional" colander.

To him, this is a bowl with holes.

OK, OK ... I know I'm not giving him enough credit. For real. But I actually woke up laughing a few nights ago because I dreamed he'd poured a big bowl of cereal into the colander, then started yelling, "What the f---?!" when milk started flooding the table. I know that would (probably) never happen, but it was a really funny dream anyway.

P365 Day 184: Q.: Know what today is?

A.: A great day for falling asleep standing up.

Hope everyone had a fantabulous, it's-cold-out-so-I'm-gonna-snuggle-up-inside weekend.

P365 Day 183: In which I panic over my parents' anniversary gift

She's just sitting up there, watching us. Sitting and watching and judging. It's a little unnerving, actually.

--

This morning, I got an e-mail from someone telling me their gift plans for my parents' 40th wedding anniversary next month ... which reminded me that OH HOLY HELL, MY PARENTS' 40TH ANNIVERSARY IS LESS THAN A MONTH AWAY. I'm an only child, which means things such as surprise parties fall solely to me, and they're a little hard to coordinate from 700 miles away — especially this late in the game. (And even that assumes I know their friends and how to get in touch with them.)

I mean, 40. It's a nice, big, round number. It's not 50, but it's still 40 ... and that's a damn long time to put up with each other. It deserves some recognition, right?

I've thought over a few ideas for gifts — everything from an Edible Arrangement to tickets to the C-USA tournament in Tulsa (and, trust me, those are on opposite ends of the price spectrum) — but I haven't made up my mind yet. Maybe I could drive to Memphis and deliver an Edible Arrangement in person. That would be fun. In any case, I don't have long to make up my mind.

Suggestions?

The ultimate policyholder

Screen cap of an ad on weather.com:


So ... from this ad, I can ascertain Jesus — thinly disguised as Harold Something-or-Another — is a 25-year-old organ donor of average height and weight who lives in South Carolina, drives a Class C vehicle placarded for hazardous materials or intended to carry more than 15 passengers, and was born on the day Kareem Abdul-Jabbar broke Wilt Chamberlain's all-time career scoring record of 31,419 points.

And, hey, as soon as it's finished with the presidential name-dropping, LowerMyBills.com can cut him a great deal on auto insurance because he drives less than two hours a day! (Any more driving would really cut into his donkey-riding and turning-water-into-wine time.)

P365 Day 182: Dogs, lungs and taxes (in that order)

One last picture of Joey-Puppy. Who knows how he's surviving without Paul constantly giving him treats, pets and empty Coke bottles to chew on. He's quite a character (Joey, not Paul. Okay, Paul's a character, too.).

I went to the doctor today for a nasty little respiratory infection that started soon after Christmas but couldn't be addressed until after we came back to Chas. My doc prescribed an antibiotic, then asked if I could feel I'm only wheezing in my left lung. (I can't.) So, to that I say: You go, right lung! And left lung, learn to keep the eff up.

Oh! A few days before we went to Memphis, a few people on Twitter started commenting on the new Mo' Money Taxes commercial. Comments ranged from "WTF?" to "Stay classy, Mo' Money (eye roll)." I got to see the commercial firsthand when we were there. This is it, though this version is branded for Ohio. Watch it.



Mo' money, mo' problems, no?

P365 Day 181: Snow, schmoe (we're home)

For days, Memphis meteorologists predicted Memphis was in the path of a huge storm that was supposed to drop anywhere from 1 to 4 inches of snow last night. Paul and I planned around it — I didn't sleep a wink last night, and we left for Charleston at 4:30 a.m. — but the snowstorm simply wasn't. (The weather folks did a fine job of backtracking and making "oops, here's why we were wrong" excuses this morning.)

You Northerners will appreciate this: Mom and Dad say the final tally was about a half-inch of accumulation, tops — and that was enough for the county school system to shut down. Mom sent me a text message at 5 a.m. saying she was doing the "no school happy dance."

We drove through a little bit of snow in Memphis and northern Mississippi, but we were ahead of the storm within two hours and it was smooth sailing all the way back to Chas. Well, I assume it was smooth sailing. I took some Dramamine and slept for about three hours, so I'm not sure what happened in that time period. If I had to guess, Paul drove really, really fast.

Here's an unpaid endorsement for the best gas stations/truck stops anywhere: Pilot Travel Centers. We've gotten to the point where we only stop at Pilots if we can help it. The restrooms are clean, the stores are expansive and all the staff members are super-friendly. Yay, Pilot!


I took this pic when we stopped for a gas/snack break at a Pilot in Middle-of-Nowhere, Georgia. I think the entire town was congregated there. And this town must really roll up the sidewalks at night; even their Wal-Mart closes at midnight. I have never seen a Wal-Mart Supercenter that's not open 24 hours. Weird!


I'm glad to be home with my girls. The pet sitter left us a "report card" for each day we were gone. They all went something like this: "I came over and gave Fred lots of pets. She loves the brush! Joe hid. I put half a can of wet food on plates for each of the girls and Fred ate them both. I also cleaned up the spit-up food and scooped the litterboxes."

At least I know they're behaving normally: Joe is loathing anyone new who walks through the door, while Fred capitalizes on the attention and eats all the food. (But keep in mind what the vet said: Fred isn't fat; she just has a big head.)

I'm super-tired, and that's making for an even more boring post than usual. I'm going to try to catch a few zzz's before dinner. Nice to be back in my own bed.

P365 Day 180: In which I leave home for home

I went to the mall with Johanna today and found some really cute purses and jewelry at Macy's, but alas, I wasn't allowed to take any pictures. (Notice they don't have a "no shirt, no shoes, no service" policy. Maybe if someone — namely Johanna, because she was the only person with me — had distracted them with no shirt, I could have taken a picture of the cute jewelry I wanted.)

She and I also made it to Sephora, where I bought lipstick (!!!), nail polish (!!!) and eyeliner (!!!). Basically, it was a very girly afternoon, which I never get in Charleston because, well, I'm married to a guy and have no girl friends. Hey, it is what it is.

We're leaving Memphis at 4 a.m. to (try to) get ahead of the snow/sleet storm headed through the South starting around midnight. Hip-hip-hurray. The alternative, suggested by my mom-in-law and sort of seconded by my mom, was to leave tonight and drive through the night. I was for it, Paul was against it, and I couldn't fight with him in front of my parents because my mother always sides with him. For real. (But, for what it's worth, his mom always sides with me, so it all evens out, I guess.)

Anyway, I feel kind of crappy about leaving so early because I feel like I didn't accomplish all the things I wanted to do while I was in Memphis. I mean, I have to keep in mind I wasn't even going to make the trip. The thing that changed my mind was that something happened to someone here and I felt like I needed to be moral support in person rather than over the phone.

And I'm glad I came. I got to see family and friends and do things I can't do in Charleston (go to a Tigers game, eat at our favorite restaurants, shop at stores that aren't in Charleston). But four days just wasn't enough time. I really wanted to play spades. Have lunch with an old friend. See my sister Cari. Visit former coworkers. And none of that happened.

It just underscores how much I miss Memphis. Today I told my friend, "I miss having you around," and he replied, "For the record, I haven't gone anywhere." D'oh. I'm the one who left behind precious people and things. Some day Paul and I will make it back here permanently. There's too much at stake not to. As someone I know told me a few years ago, "I tried to leave Memphis, but it's like the river kept pulling me back once I got away." I laughed politely. Now I know what they mean. Memphis is certainly not perfect — I mean, hey, Charleston has beaches — but there's no place like it in the world.

There's no rule about calling two places home. So I'm just leaving one home for another.

Tomorrow's going to be a long day — people in the South do not know how to drive in winter weather, and we're going to be on the road for at least 12 hours — but for now, I'm going to go watch the basketball game (Go Tigers!!), eat a bowl of chili, help Paul pack up the car and try to get some sleep.

P365 Day 179: Happy puppy!

Joey is such a happy doggie!!


And Paul spoils him rotten with cookies and play time:


Today has been family time: I visited my aunt and grandmother this afternoon, and tonight Paul and I are having dinner at our favorite restaurant with our families. Then Johanna is (maybe?) coming over and we're going to toast marshmallows on the fire pit and make s'mores.

I've been in a pretty good mood all week, and this has been my theme song. It makes me happy!


:-)

P365 Day 178: In which I completely give up on finding the jewelry supplies I need

Have I mentioned what an effort it is to do P365 while I'm at my parents' house? They don't have a wireless router, so I have to edit my photos on my netbook, then upload them to their computer with my card reader. But that's not all: Their computer is so old that I have to unplug their keyboard when I want to use my card reader because the keyboard cable blocks physical access to the USB port. It's insane. But I'm not going to miss a day, dammit.

As you can see from the photo, I got to go to Hobby Lobby today (!!!) — and I didn't have to drive two and a half hours to get there. But they were out of the things I needed. Ouch. I'm 0-4 for finding certain supplies that used to be easy to come by. I feel I waited for nothing. Looks like I'm going to be ordering a few things from Fire Mountain Gems.

But, hey, the day wasn't a loss at all! I bought a new pair of jeans and a couple of sweaters, then had a two-hour coffee/chat with Johanna. Tomorrow, she's coming over for s'mores. It'll be the first time I get to wear the Memphis Tigers Snuggie I got for Christmas!

Ooh, gotta go — I'm being called downstairs for dinner. Staying at my parents' house makes me feel like a kid again: "Just five more minutes on the computer, then I'll be down for dinner — I swear!"

P365 Day 177: Christmas in Memphis (a.k.a. "The holiday season that never ends")

We're in Memphis! Merry Christmas!!

When we arrived last night, Paul and I experienced the coldest weather we've felt in the year and a half since we moved from Memphis to Charleston. Well below freezing. And we drove in wearing only t-shirts and jeans. (But we brought jackets!!)


As usual, we made off like bandits when it came to gifts. Our families are very generous. Among my gifts were a number of things from my Metawishlist (which, by the way, seems to have been shut down — boo hoo!), including the sing-along version of Mamma Mia!, a copy of Dewey: The Small-Town Library Cat Who Touched the World, the Cute Overload page-a-day calendar, and a year-long subscription to Stringing magazine.


I received more things than I can name, but some of the others include a beautiful brown sweater nearly identical to my favorite gray one, a Balderdash-esque board game called Origins, a hand-painted colander, handmade soaps and lotions, Spongebob towels (yay!), fingerless gloves (which I wore all day because they're so cool!), Kat Von D lipstick, a subscription to Popular Science and a pink beret. :D

Paul got a bunch of cool stuff as well; among them were some Tigers gear, a new pair of Tevas and a beautiful Fossil watch. He needed both the Tevas and the watch, as his current Tevas are falling apart and his Fossil broke a while ago. (Quick survey: How many of you wear a watch vs. just looking at your cell phone clock?)

While Paul went to work — remember, that's why we're in Memphis in the first place — I went to a Tigers game! We won by a landslide! And I got to see the NCAA title banners that might have to come down if Memphis loses its sanctions appeal. :(


Woo-hoo! Go Pierre!


When I came home, Mom and Dad stuffed me full of holiday food: ham, corn-stuffing balls, mini meatballs, pasta fagioli, good luck New Year's black-eyed peas ... and a bunch of Christmas cookies Mom made last night. ^_^

So now it's off for family time. I think we're going to play the new board game and maybe some Super Mario Bros. Wii. Hopefully Paul will be home from work soon and we can party like it's 1999.

"Did you know I walk off cliffs? Yeah, man, right off the edge. Like a lemming."

I've been waiting days to post this, and I can wait no longer. Anyone who's owned the SMB series should get a kick out of this:

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

P365 Day 176: Damn kittens, get off my lawn

Fred makes a good "angry old man" face, doesn't she? Especially for a cat who is neither old nor a man. All looks aside, I think she's going to get along just fine with our new cat-sitter, Nicole. Nicole seems caring and methodical, so I'm sure we won't have anything to worry about while we're in Memphis. And Fred gets along really well with anyone bearing a brush (!!) or treats (!!!) or Fancy Feast's chicken 'n' egg souffle (!!!!!).

I made sure to show Nicole a photo of Joe to assure her there is another cat living here, though she might only see Joe high-tailing it out of the room when the front door is opened by a stranger.

Gah, first day on the road and I posted a picture of my cat. Can you tell Fred and Joe are pretty darn important to me?

Reconnect with him!

Send him a message!

Because, you know, listing him as your spouse doesn't satisfy the Facebook terms of connectivity (TOC).



P.S. Why would anyone choose to "like" Facebook ads?

P365 Day 175: N.B.: There's no period after Dr

So, you remember Pepsi Throwback that came out in 2008? Well, not only is Pepsi Throwback back, but it's been joined by Heritage Dr Pepper! That's right: 20 ounces of non-high-fructose-corn-syrup, real-sugary goodness. And plenty of calories to go around. In other words, enjoy it, but make it last. Paul bought us two bottles of each this morning. I drank about a third of my Dr Pepper, spilled a quarter on my keyboard, and still have (whatever fractional amount remains) left.

It might be the start of a new year, but I've got other throwback news. Hey, everything old is new again, right? First of all, "The Baby-Sitters Club" books are back in print (you go, Scholastic Books!). And second (big thanks to Smacky for the link), PopDose has released a March '96 Ben Folds Five radio show bootleg. I'm listening now. Good stuff.

Tomorrow, we leave for Memphis for a few days. We're making the holidays last and last. But, hey, it worked in our favor — we got all our gift wrap at half price during post-Christmas sales! Note to burglars: We have a house-/cat-sitter and an alarm system. And nosy neighbors. You've been warned.

I wonder if I can scout out some good luck New Year's black-eyed peas this late in the day.

A new song for New Year's